The Last Five Years
by alinaandalion
Summary: Five years. That's all it takes to build a life and then destroy it.
1. and i'm still waking every morning

**This is an AU loosely based on the musical _The Last Five Years_. There won't be a happy ending.**

" _Bring back the lies,_  
 _Hang them back on the wall!_  
 _Maybe I'd see_  
 _How you could be_  
 _So certain that we_  
 _Had no chance at all_ ."  
\- "Still Hurting" from _The Last Five Years_

" _You were red and you liked me because I was blue_  
 _You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky_  
 _And you decided purple just wasn't for you_ "  
\- "Colors" by Halsey

* * *

 **Year Five**

It feels unreal, waking up in a half-empty bed. Trudging down to the kitchen to make coffee for one. Listening for the sound of the shower in the bathroom and then—silence.

She'll need to get Henry up in a little while, but for now, Regina flips through the mail from yesterday, placing the things that still arrive for Emma to the side. Emma's change of address still hasn't caught hold, it seems. Maybe Henry will be willing to take the mail to Emma. Regina would, but just the thought of seeing Emma—she still doesn't know if she wants to cry or scream or burn something down.

Maybe all of them. Or nothing at all because Regina is trying still, holding out for the hope that she can forgive, that they can get normal back.

She glances at the coffee pot and heads for the stairs. Another day, and she just needs to breathe through each moment.

Breathe and smile and pretend like nothing is wrong.

* * *

It's late when the knock on the door comes; Henry is already in bed, but that's how Regina planned it. There's no reason for him to be caught in the middle any more than he has been. She smooths down her shirt and takes a deep breath as she opens the door.

Emma gives her a small smile. "Hey."

"Hey," Regina echoes, curling her fingers around the edge of the door. "Come in."

"The kid's already asleep?" Emma asks as she walks inside.

Regina nods and shuts the door. "Yes. I thought we could talk in the study."

"Right, right." Emma starts to walk off with the same ease she had when this was her home, and Regina nearly cries at the sight because this was supposed to be forever and now it's not and she still doesn't understand.

She manages to keep control, though, and she follows after Emma; she curls her arms around her middle. Emma wanders around the room for a few moments before moving to the middle, turning on her heel to look at Regina.

"So, what d'you want to talk about?" Emma's eyes are bright in the dimness, and she's rocking on the balls of her feet, the same way she did before she kissed Regina for the first time, before she asked Regina to marry her.

"I want a divorce." It comes out harsher than Regina intended; she winces but keeps her eyes on Emma even as Emma shrinks down and down like the air has been sucked out of the room.

In a way, maybe it has been.

Emma swallows then nods her head. "Okay."

"Okay?" Regina curls her fingers into fists. "That's all you have to say?"

"I told you that we'd do whatever you want."

"Which means you're just going to let our marriage end?"

"You're the one who just asked for a divorce," Emma snaps.

"And you're the one who cheated, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised." Regina says, feeling the words stinging in her mouth. "You seemed in such a hurry to give up on our marriage that I shouldn't be surprised that you're happy about this."

"I'm not happy about it!" Emma runs her hands through her hair and says, "I fucked up, Regina, but that doesn't mean I want this."

"Then what do you want?"

"That's not the point. I just—I want to make this right." Emma sighs and shakes her head. "Just tell me how."

Regina looks away and breathes, thinks of her son sleeping upstairs, the open bottle of wine she left out for herself, the cold bed waiting for her later. She closes her eyes.

"You'll need to get a lawyer to represent you."

"Okay." Emma's voice is soft, and Regina watches her as she steps forward until she's right there, barely an inch away, so so close.

Emma lifts her hand and traces her fingers along Regina's jaw before leaning in and kissing her. Just the faint pressure of Emma's lips, then Emma lets her go, murmurs something about seeing herself out. Regina stands there and waits until she hears the front door pull closed; she wipes away the tears slipping down her cheeks. She stays there a few moments longer, breathes in and out. Then she walks out of the room, turning out the light as she goes.

* * *

Henry wanders into the kitchen, phone in hand, and Regina smiles at the sight of him.

"Still no news?" he asks, leaning across the counter and snagging a banana from the fruit bowl.

"Not yet." Regina watches him peel the banana and bite it in half. She glances again at her phone and sighs. "How do you feel about ordering pizza for dinner?"

He shrugs. "Whatever. When do the polls close?"

She chuckles. _Polls_ , like this is some sort of major election. "Six. So they probably won't have the results until late tonight."

"Do you want me to stay up with you?" He grins and shoves the last bit of his banana into his mouth, talking as he chews, "You might as well have company while you pace around."

"As long as I don't have to drag you out of bed tomorrow morning," she says in her best stern voice, but there's already a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Aw, come on, I should get a day off so we can celebrate your win."

She shakes her head. "There's no guarantee, Henry. My…reputation still hasn't been forgotten."

"Don't worry so much about that, Mom. You're still the best damn mayor Storybrooke's ever had," he replies as he moves around the counter to grab a glass and fill it with water from the sink.

"What have I told you about listening to anything Emma says?" She tries to keep her voice light, but she can feel the tightness in her mouth.

Henry sighs and stares down at the sink as he asks in a quiet cracking voice, "Are you guys going to get back together? Or is this—is it really over?"

"Henry." She puts a hand on his shoulder but he shrugs out from under it.

"Mom. You can tell me."

She leans against the counter and says, "Emma and I have decided to get a divorce. There's nothing final yet, but she's getting a lawyer. I understand…I understand if you're angry with us."

He lifts his head and his eyes are dark as he says, "I'm mad at _her_. She cheated on you, Mom. She ruined everything."

"It's not that simple, Henry," Regina murmurs.

"It is." He pulls her into a hug, limbs long and awkward but firm around her. "She hurt you."

Regina tucks his unkempt hair behind his ears. Gods, he's taller than her; sometimes she forgets that he's not her little boy any more. "She's still your mother, _mijo_."

He juts his bottom lip out and then tucks his head against her shoulder. "You're my mom."

Years later, and those words still cut through her with a sharp, sweet sting. She should correct him, remind him again of Emma's place in his life, but the words die on her lips. Not now; she's always been selfish.

* * *

She forgets in those moments between waking and sleeping, that the little world she built over the last five years has crumbled. She stretches her arm out underneath the sheets, looking for long curls and a warm body, her beautiful sweet wife.

Every time, the bed is cold on that side and she is pulled abruptly into reality.

She lays in bed and tries to breathe past the weight on her chest, the weight that threatens to drag her to the bottom of the ocean until she finally drowns.

* * *

Emma comes to her office eventually. There's no way around it, not when Emma is still the sheriff because this is just doing her job. That's all it is. Regina clenches her fingers around the edge of her desk.

"Congratulations," Emma offers in a quiet voice, scuffing the toe of her shoe against the office carpet. "I knew you would win."

Regina forces a smile onto her face, a politician's smile, one that will eat her alive. "Can I help you, Sheriff Swan?"

Emma flinches and holds out a folder. "Just delivering some paperwork. You know where I am if you need me."

Reaching out, Regina takes the folder from Emma's outstretched hand and settles back into her chair as she flips it open lazily, staring down at Emma's messy scrawl on the forms, listening as Emma trudges to the door.

She almost calls Emma back. But the door closes and Regina is still in her chair.

Silence. She has forgotten how quiet it can be when she's alone.

* * *

It should be different. There should be shouting, kicked chairs, accusations flung back and forth. Not this neat and tidy scene where they are sitting side by side in front of a desk, looking down at papers that will finally end it all.

Lives shouldn't dissolve so easily, like sand castles when the tide comes in.

Emma picks up the pen first, signs her name quickly on the marked lines. Regina watches her, follows the slide of the pen along the paper, sees _Emma Swan_ in spiky black ink.

"Is that all?" Emma asks when she finishes.

Emma's lawyer, Timothy, nods once, glances over to where Kathryn is leaning against the wall of his office.

"Regina, you still have to sign," Kathryn prompts gently, and then her hand is on Regina's shoulder, squeezing the slightest bit before drifting away.

It will be all over once she does this. Every promise, every soft _I love you_ , early mornings curled up together in bed, weekends spent with their son, family dinners—it'll be gone, almost like they never happened.

But they did. They were married and now, as she takes the pen and presses it to the paper in front of her, they're not.


	2. here comes the sun (and it's all right)

" _But the minute I first met you_  
 _I could barely catch my breath_  
 _I've been standing for days with the phone in my hand_  
 _Like an idiot scared to death_ "

\- "Shiksa Goddess" from _The Last Five Years_

" _Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting_  
 _Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear_  
 _But here comes the sun_ "

\- "Here Comes the Sun" by The Beatles

* * *

 **Year One**

Emma smiles to herself when she slips below deck and finds Regina sitting on the floor beside the bunk where Henry's curled up. She sits down beside Regina and leans her head back against the wooden wall.

"Did everything settle down up there?" Regina asks.

Emma hums and looks at Regina as she says, "Yeah. Mulan and Aurora are watching over Tamara for now. And everyone else is resting before we head back. Did the kid pass out right away?"

There's a fond smile on Regina's face as she glances back at Henry then back at Emma. "He was so exhausted. I would have come up to join you, but…"

"Yeah," Emma says quietly. "I didn't want to be away from him for too long. It still feels like it's not—like it's not over."

She keeps her eyes on Regina and sees how Regina is twisting her hands together, knuckles pale in the cabin's faint light; it doesn't feel _good_ to know that Regina feels the same fear, but it makes her feel less alone, and she'll settle for that. Maybe one day they'll both be able to let go of this worry, that Henry will be snatched away at any moment.

"I know," Regina agrees as dark hair falls into her face. "Do you think I should check on Tamara? I don't trust Gold. He might try something."

"I think she's safe for now," Emma replies, remembering Regina standing over Tamara on that dark island, eyes fierce and dark and flashing as she screamed at Gold and pulled magic into her hands. Sighing, Emma says, "I'll be more worried when we get back and have to figure out what to do with her. I don't think she'll have an easy time of it if she stays in Storybrooke. And I don't know if I can trust her enough to let her leave."

"We'll figure it out," Regina murmurs, and there it is again. _We_. Somehow they've turned into a team and it makes Emma's chest feel tighter, warmer.

She looks back at Henry, takes in the soft rise and fall of his chest, his sprawled limbs. The warmth in her chest grows, and she watches as Regina reaches out with a careful hand and brushes her fingers along the curve of Henry's cheek. She wants, she _wants_ —

"I think—" Emma stops and clears her throat. "I think we need to work out living arrangements for the kid. Because what we've been doing just doesn't really, you know, work, and it's not fair for him to get caught in the middle."

"Are you saying you want Henry to stay with you?" The question is sharp and pointed, but Regina is looking at her with wide eyes, trembling.

"No. No, that's not what I'm trying to say."

"Then what?"

Emma huffs out a breath; talking to Regina sometimes feels like more of a chore than talking to Mary Margaret and David as a couple, and she's tempted to tell Regina that except that Emma doesn't want to turn this into a fight. She focuses on holding Regina's gaze, and _oh_ , Regina's eyes are dark dark dark and it's unfair that Regina can be so fucking pretty when she's mad—

Emma shakes her head. "I think Henry should live with you during the week. The apartment really isn't the ideal place for the kid to stay because there isn't much space, and I think he would be happier in his own room."

"You're offering for Henry to live with me during the week? I assume you mean the school week?" Regina's shoulders are starting to relax and Emma's heart stops trying to beat out of her chest.

"Yeah. Like, Sunday through Thursday? And I could have him on Friday and Saturday."

"That's not an equal proportion, Miss Swan. I'm not sure Henry would agree to any of that," Regina says as she tucks her hair behind her ears.

Emma shrugs. "Well, it's not like I wouldn't see him at all, right? I mean, I could hang out with him some after school?"

Regina stares at her for a long moment, until Emma drops her eyes because there is something _soft_ in the way Regina is looking at her and that's not the way things are supposed to work with them _at all,_ and _God_ , Regina is still looking at her so Emma focuses on Regina's hands and the way she twists her fingers together like she's nervous.

Finally, Regina says, "Why don't we talk to Henry and try to find a balance between what we think is best for him and what he wants."

"Okay." Emma smiles and looks up to see Regina smiling at her. "Yeah. Okay."

* * *

"Mom wants to know if you're coming over for dinner. Again."

Emma doesn't even glance up from the file in front of her. "Hey to you, too, kid."

Henry grins and dumps his backpack beside her desk. "Hey. So? Are you going to come or not?"

"This is seriously an urgent question?" When Henry just looks at her, just like his mom, Emma sighs and says, "Yeah, sure."

Pulling out his phone, Henry starts typing a text, and seriously, it's a dinosaur phone and Emma has tried three separate times to convince Regina to spring for something a little nicer for the kid but she hasn't succeeded yet. Maybe when she upgrades, she can hand her old phone off to Henry. With Regina's permission, of course.

Henry shoves his phone back into his backpack and flings himself into the nearest chair as he says, "She's making roast chicken. And she says to make sure I at least start on my homework before you take me home."

"Yeah, okay, what homework do you have?" Emma asks, flipping the file closed as Henry starts digging around in his backpack.

"Math and history."

Emma grimaces and opens the file again. "You're on your own, kid."

"It's not like I need any help," Henry says as he rolls his eyes. Then he drops a bag of cookies on her desk. "Mom made them over the weekend. She said she's sending oranges with me tomorrow so don't get your hopes up."

"Your mom is a killjoy," Emma mutters, but she opens the bag and takes a cookie. Peanut butter chocolate chip. She wishes she kept milk at the station. "Hey, why don't you go get us some drinks from the fridge?"

He looks up from where he's nearly inhaled one cookie, another one already in his hands, and he trudges over to the mini-fridge Emma keeps beside the coffee pot. Opening it, he peers inside then twists around to look at Emma.

"What happened to your sodas?" His voice is almost a whine, but he grabs two little bottles of water so Emma lets it go.

"Told you. Your mom." Emma shrugs and takes the bottle he hands to her. "She seems to think I need healthier dietary habits so I can be a good influence on you."

"Healthier dietary habits?"

"Your mom might have given me a lecture after we got back from Neverland."

Henry stiffens, and Emma could hit herself for the slip; it's been a couple of months but Henry still doesn't like talking about what happened. Hopefully he's talking about it with Archie, but Regina has said they can't ask about Henry's therapy sessions. And Emma knows better than to cross Regina on this after everything that has happened.

Not that Neal agrees, but Neal…. He's at least not dumb enough to try to fight Regina. Emma kind of likes the relative peace that has settled over Storybrooke, and she plans on keeping it as long as possible.

Emma scoots a little closer to Henry, brushes her hand against his shoulder. "Hey, I'm sorry for bringing that up. I know it's…hard for you."

"It's okay." He gives her a little smile and takes a bite of his second cookie. "It's not as bad as it was at first."

"Still, I didn't mean to bring it up," Emma says quietly. She sits back in her chair and nods at his stack of books. "Get to work, kid, and maybe after dinner we can convince your mom to play Mario Kart with us."

"She's just going to kick your butt again."

"Yeah, I still think it was the controller."

He shakes his head at her, and Emma grins because this, this is nice. This feels like something she could get used to.

* * *

"No, I still haven't won a race, yet," Emma whines as Henry turns off the Wii.

"It's after ten," Regina says, tugging the controller out of Emma's hands. "Henry needs to go to bed, and you have work in the morning."

Emma frowns and slumps back into the couch cushions. "Yeah, okay, the kid can go to bed, but we can always go a couple more rounds, right, Regina?"

"Ma, quit while you're ahead," Henry says, grinning.

Emma tries for a pout but Regina just laughs at her and there's this stupid warmth in her chest, full and tight, and she doesn't want to push, doesn't want to mess this up. The last time Emma tried playing the "fun mom" card, Regina barely talked to her for a week and when she did, she called her "Miss Swan," and that wasn't enjoyable at all.

Henry hugs her first then turns to Regina and puts his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder while she murmurs something in his ear that makes him chuckle.

"Are you talking about me?" Emma asks.

Henry lets go of his mom and smirks at Emma. "Maybe. 'Night, I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Emma watches him scamper out of the room, listens to him take the stairs two at a time, glancing at Regina to catch the tail-end of her eyeroll at the amount of noise Henry is making. Shrugging her shoulders, Emma grabs this fancy crystal thing off the coffee table and holds it up.

"I've broken this three times and it still looks the same," she says as she turns it over in her hands. "How are you even doing that?"

"Well, to start with, I have excellent control over my magic," Regina says, lifting one eyebrow as she settles back into the couch. "Unlike others I could name. So, shall we begin?"

"I guess," Emma mutters as she places the crystal thing back on the table off to the side. "Henry mentioned the other day that you went on a date with some guy named Robin? Something about how Tink introduced the two of you?"

Regina flushes and she says, "It was just one date. Back in the Enchanted Forest, Tink used pixie dust that she claimed would lead me to my soulmate. I never met him back then, but after we got back from Neverland, Tink apparently found him living here in Storybrooke."

Nodding, Emma asks, "So, is it true love? One meeting and you knew that you were destined to be together forever?"

Her chest aches after she says that, suddenly desperate to hear from Regina that the pixie dust was mistaken, that Robin doesn't mean anything. Henry hadn't seemed like he liked Robin at all, and if it's the same dumb blond guy she saw talking to Regina on the street the other day, Emma thinks she agrees with her kid.

"Don't be ridiculous, Emma," Regina says with a small laugh, but her eyes seem distant, looking straight through Emma. "He's a nice man but I don't think I'll go on another date with him."

"Why not?" Emma wants to tape her mouth shut because _why_ is she asking such fucking _dumb_ questions?

Regina shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. But we're not here to talk about my romantic life. Now, let's get to work."

Emma huffs and pushes her hair out of her face, trying to keep from smiling about Regina's disinterest in this Robin dude. "Whatever. Let's get this over with."

It's easier now, levitating the crystal object until it's a few inches above the table, just on the edge of line of vision. She keeps her eyes trained on Regina and her dumb smirk and focuses on keeping her breathing steady.

"Neal's been complaining about how he doesn't get to see Henry as much as he wants to," Emma says after letting a few heartbeats pass.

She watches the way Regina presses her lips together before saying, "He hasn't come to me about his concerns."

"Yeah, I know. I told him to, but he's kind of an asshole, so he just keeps bothering me about it."

Regina's eyes flicker down to her knees and Emma waits; eventually, Regina says quietly, "I don't really want Henry to spend time with him."

"I know." Emma curls her fingers into her thighs and sighs. "I don't really like the idea of Neal having unsupervised time with Henry. But if Henry wants to spend time with his dad, we should let him."

"We can't keep repeating the same mistakes," Regina murmurs, looking back up at Emma and giving her a slight smile.

"Yeah," Emma agrees. She rolls her shoulders and says, "So, what is the point of this? I don't get how keeping a piece of dumb decoration in the air without paying attention to it is useful."

"It's about control. Control over your magic should be as easy as breathing for you, something you don't have to think about it. If you have to constantly focus on just keeping your magic in check while using it, then you'll never reach your full potential," Regina explains, her voice growing fuller as she talks, her eyes brighter.

Emma smiles because this is the best part of the lessons, listening to Regina talk about how to use her power, because watching her face and her eyes, she's so incredibly beautiful. The tight warmth in Emma's chest comes back because this, this is a privilege to witness, and Emma wants to reach across the space and touch her.

Touch her and—

The crystal shatters against the table and Emma blinks.

"Twenty minutes. That's longer than last time," Regina says as she flicks her fingers and the crystal morphs back into its original shape. "What were you thinking about when your control slipped?"

Emma can feel the heat rising in her cheeks but she can't tell the truth, she can't, so she fumbles out, "Um, just about the paperwork I have to do tomorrow. Been putting it off."

Regina raises an eyebrow but she doesn't push. "Well, I think we've made progress so that's enough for the evening. Would you like a drink before you go?"

"Um, no, I need to, um—I need to get on to bed." Emma fakes a yawn and stretches her arms as she stands up. "Thanks for dinner and the lesson. I'll text you about Friday night?"

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea," Regina says slowly, a frown pulling at her mouth. "Have a good night."

"Yeah, you, too," Emma replies, nearly bolting for the front door.

She can feel Regina watching her walk down to the street where she parked the Bug earlier, and her hands are shaking as she pulls her jacket on and climbs into her car. She takes a moment just to breathe before starting the car, just breathe and not think about Regina's dark eyes and her smile and how easy it would be just to reach out and touch her.

No. No, this can't be happening.

* * *

Emma doesn't even look up when Ruby slides a cup of coffee across the table to her. _Five, four, three, two_ —

"Okay, what is wrong with you?" Ruby asks, poking Emma's arm.

Emma sits up and rubs at her arm as she says, "Nothing. Just didn't sleep much last night."

"Yeah, that's not it. Try again." Ruby grabs Emma's coffee and takes a sip.

Frowning, Emma tugs on the end of her ponytail. "It's not a big deal, Ruby. And stop drinking my coffee."

"Seriously, Emma, just tell me what's bothering you. I thought we were best friends."

"I thought you were Mary Margaret's best friend."

Ruby's smile fades a little as she says, "Not so much right now. But that doesn't mean I can't be both your friends."

"Pretty sure there's a rule somewhere that says you can't," Emma mumbles as she pulls the coffee out of Ruby's hands and curls her fingers around it.

"It must be big if you're trying so hard not to tell me about it. Is it a crush? Have you finally fallen in love with someone?" Ruby winks at her like it's a joke but Emma just stares down at her coffee cup until Ruby gasps. "No, no way! Who is it?"

"Nobody."

"Emma Swan, I will go through an entire list of Storybrooke residents until I figure it out." When Emma doesn't respond, Ruby sighs and says, "Is it Hook? Please tell me it's not Neal."

"It's not Neal," Emma says quickly because the last thing she needs is for that rumor to get out; she's just barely managed to dodge the last attempt her parents made at setting her up with Neal.

"Well, the only other person you've spent a lot of time with is Regina and it can't be—oh, oh my god, it's Regina." Ruby laughs and bounces in her seat as she says, "Oh my god, Emma, no wonder you didn't want to say anything."

"Why, because something's wrong with her?" Emma snaps, narrowing her eyes at Ruby's huge grin.

Ruby shakes her head. "No, because a lot of people still don't like her. Including your parents. But this has to be something new because you weren't like this yesterday. What made you figure it out?"

Emma drinks some of her coffee and says, "I don't really know. I was just looking at her last night and then—I don't know, it clicked or whatever. And now I don't know what to do."

"Well, isn't it obvious?"

"Yeah, no, you've lost me."

"Ask her out on a date, you dummy," Ruby says, smiling.

"I _can't_. I can't just ask Regina Mills out on a date."

"Why not?"

Emma wants to hit her head against the table. "Have you met her, Ruby? And, anyway, I don't even know if she'd be interested in me like…that."

"You'll never know if you don't ask her," Ruby says as she nods her head. "But if you're really that freaked out about it, why not just ask Henry? He'd know if his mom is into you."

"Hit my kid up for dating advice about his mom?" Emma snorts and says, "What kind of person does that?"

"Or I'll ask Granny about it. She'll probably know."

"How would she know something like that? Do you guys run a matchmaking service here, too?"

Ruby rolls her eyes. "Everyone comes in here, Emma, and Granny is good at reading people. If Regina would be interested in dating you, Granny will know. I promise."

"Fine, whatever, ask her." Emma drains her coffee and slides out of the booth. "I have to get to work and do a shit ton of paperwork I've been putting off all week."

Ruby grins. "I'll text you later."

"Okay. Anything to put me out of my misery," Emma mutters as she slips into her jacket and hands Ruby a few bills. "See you later, Ruby."

* * *

"You should ask my mom out," Henry says as he dumps his backpack onto Emma's desk.

Emma looks up. "Seriously, kid, can't you say 'hello' first? And what gave you an idea like that?"

"Ruby told me that you like my mom." Henry grins and bounces on the balls of his feet. "So you should ask her out."

"I don't know if she'll say yes."

"She will."

Emma leans onto her desk and studies Henry's face. "Is this some kind of joke or prank?"

"No." Henry rolls his eyes and unzips his backpack, pulling out a notebook. "I'm just saying that if my mom is going to go out on a date with anyone, it'd probably be you. Especially since she didn't like that Robin guy. So you should ask her out."

Sighing, Emma reaches into his bag and grabs the small bag of pretzels out of it. "So, let's just pretend that I've asked her out on a date and she's agreed. What kind of date should it be?"

Henry shrugs and steals the pretzels away from her. "How should I know? I'm only eleven. What do you think my mom would like to do?"

"I don't know. I don't think she'd want to go out to a restaurant in town," Emma says as she pushes the papers on her desk around. "I guess I could cook dinner for her. And we could just hang out?"

"That doesn't sound really exciting."

"I'm not asking if you'd think it would be fun." Emma gives his arm a light punch and grins at him. "The question is if your mom would like it."

"I guess she would. It's not like she'd hate it," Henry says as he brandishes his pencil. "So can I do my homework now?"

"Give me half your pretzels."

"Only if you call my mom and ask her out right now."

"I get half the pretzels plus five extra, and I'll ask her out when I take you home."

"Deal."

Emma grins and takes the bag, pulling out the agreed upon amount of pretzels. Henry rolls his eyes at her and starts working on what looks like a really hard math problem.

* * *

Stupid, stupid, stupid, but Regina is starting to raise her eyebrows now, which means Emma's window of opportunity is closing.

"So, um, I have something to ask you," Emma says, shoving her hands into her pockets and looking down at the porch.

"You've already said that, Emma," Regina says and there's an implied eye roll in her tone that makes Emma want to just disappear.

"Yeah, okay, so we've, well, we've gotten closer recently. And I thought that maybe, um—maybe you'd go on a date with me?"

Emma gulps in a breath during the silence that follows and oh my God, she's so _stupid_ and she can't look up at Regina because then she might seriously die.

"A date?" Regina's voice is soft, like she's trying the words on for size, and Emma finally lifts her head and takes in Regina's dark, dark eyes and her little smile and oh my God, _oh my God_ how is she even supposed to breathe now.

"Yeah. Yeah, a date," Emma says as she rocks on the balls of her feet.

"Okay. That sounds—nice."

"Um, okay."

"When will the date be?" Regina asks, and Emma starts because yeah, she didn't think she'd get that far.

"How about Saturday night? I can cook at my place and you can just show up and we can eat and I don't know, hang out or something." Emma lets out a short laugh and ducks her head. "God, that sounds so lame."

Regina brushes her fingers against Emma's elbow. "I think it sounds nice."

"You're not very reassuring," Emma mutters.

Regina laughs. "What time do you want me to come over?"

"How about 7:30?"

"Do I need to bring anything?"

"No," Emma says with a shake of her head. "Just yourself."

"Okay." Regina smiles.

"Okay," Emma replies, grinning. "Okay."

* * *

Emma peeks into her oven again to check on the chicken even though it's only been five minutes. But the last she wants is to burn this dinner because this is _the_ night and everything needs to be perfect because this is Regina and this is a fucking date with Regina, and Emma has to stop herself from running her fingers through her hair because she spent over thirty minutes getting it to curl perfectly.

She runs her hands down the front of her apron and jumps when there's a knock at the door. Goddamnit, she needs to get a grip. She hurries over to the door and pulls it open, grinning when she sees Regina standing in the hallway, holding a bottle of wine and wearing a gorgeous gray dress.

"Hey," Emma breathes out, standing back to let Regina walk inside. "I just put our dinner in the oven."

Regina tilts her head to the side and gestures to the wine in her hand. "Henry mentioned that you were making some sort of roast chicken, so I tried to pick a wine that might pair well. Unless you already have something picked out?"

"Yeah, I kind of did some research and found a merlot that's supposed to go perfectly with our food," Emma says, fumbling with her apron strings; fuck, why didn't she notice that she was still wearing it? "But it's going to be a little while so we can open your bottle if you want? Have a glass before dinner?"

"That sounds lovely." Regina smiles, her lips tight as she glances around the apartment.

Emma takes the offered bottle and starts back to the kitchen. "I, um, I have to steam the green beans and check on the potatoes. Do you want to join me in here or do you, I don't know, want to hang out on the couch?"

Regina follows after her as she says, "I'll be happy to keep you company while you cook. I didn't know you did. Cook, I mean."

"Not much. I can, but I'm not the best." Emma laughs and shakes her head. "God, way to sell the food you're about to eat. It's just that your cooking is always fucking amazing and I don't think I can measure up."

"Well, thank you, but I have faith that this meal will be delicious."

Emma opens the wine and pours Regina a glass. She holds it out to Regina. "Here."

Regina takes the glass from Emma, her smile fading a little. "Are you sure that you don't want any help?"

"I think I've got it," Emma replies as she pours her own glass of wine. She takes a large swallow and looks back at Regina. "Unless you want to check on the chicken? I don't want it to dry out."

Regina nods and moves to the oven, flinching away when Emma brushes her hand against Regina's shoulder; Emma frowns and watches as Regina peers into the oven.

"It doesn't look quite done," Regina says, straightening up and sipping her wine. She raises her eyebrows and asks, "Is there something wrong?"

Emma starts and blinks. "Um, what?"

"You were staring at me. I thought there might be something on my dress or—"

"No, sorry, I just got, um, distracted," Emma says quickly, blushing as she tries to remember what she should be doing next. She watches as Regina walks back to the sink and leans against the counter, and when she sees the green beans still in their plastic bag, she pulls her scattered thoughts back together. "Um, the green beans are behind you. Do you think you could—"

"Oh, yes." Regina turns and lifts the plastic-wrapped produce.

Emma moves closer and somehow she underestimates exactly how close she's gotten to Regina because when Regina faces front, they're inches apart and she's right there, Regina is right fucking there and Emma has always been impulsive and she doesn't think, she just kisses Regina because she's right there and Emma has only been dreaming about this for weeks. And Regina's lips are soft and Emma can taste the wax of her lipstick and it's perfect, so perfect, the way Regina kisses back and grips her by the shoulders.

Then Emma's brain catches up to what's happening and _shitshitshit_ , she pulls back abruptly, trying to look anywhere but at Regina because she didn't even ask, they haven't even _eaten_ yet and she's fucked it up, oh my God, _ohmygod_ , she's so fucking stupid.

"Oh my god, I didn't think—I'm so sorry, Regina, I shouldn't have just…fuck, what is _wrong_ with—"

Regina's mouth smothers the last of her words. Her lips are languid now as her hands comb through Emma's hair and Emma sighs against her mouth, chasing after her when Regina moves away for a moment.

"If I didn't want to kiss you, I wouldn't have agreed to this date in the first place," Regina murmurs as she strokes her thumb along Emma's cheek.

Emma smiles and nods and pulls her back in, kissing her and kissing her. She grips Regina's hips, fingers twisting in the soft fabric of her dress as she presses Regina against the counter. Regina's nails scrape against her scalp and Emma groans against her lips; she drifts her mouth lower, drags her teeth against the side of Regina's neck. Regina whimpers but starts pushing Emma away, shaking her head as Emma stops, breathing hard, hands still resting on Regina's hips as she looks at Regina.

"Slow down," Regina murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Emma's mouth. "We have time. Let's try to take it a little slower."

Emma licks her lips and shuffles her feet as she asks, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel pressured or—"

"No, it's fine," Regina says, holding Emma's gaze, brown eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiles. "We're fine. It's just that I'm not ready for more even if…"

Her voice trails off as she wraps her arms around Emma's waist and pulls her closer, kisses Emma slowly, lips sweet and soft.

Emma smiles and says, "Even if?"

"Even if, gods, even if I really want to," Regina breathes, tilting her mouth up and kissing Emma again. She stiffens a moment later, and Emma groans as she breaks the kiss and drops her head to Regina's shoulder.

"What is it?" Emma asks.

"I think your chicken is burning," Regina says.

Emma sniffs and _fuck_ , something is definitely burning. She runs over to the oven and pulls the door open, coughing when smoke drifts out.

"Fucking goddamn shit," Emma mutters as she grabs her oven mitts and jerks the dish out of the oven. And then she sees that her potatoes are boiling over and that's it, she has officially ruined their first date.

"Well, it's not that bad," Regina says as she comes up behind Emma and rests her hand on the small of Emma's back.

Emma dumps the glass dish onto the cool stove eyes and switches off the potatoes. "I ruined our entire meal."

"Not the green beans." Regina nudges the still unopened beans and laughs.

"Yeah, because that's just awesome." Emma covers her face with her hands and says, "I knew I was going to fuck this up. Shit, I'm so sorry."

"It's all right, Emma."

Emma just shakes her head and then Regina pulls her fingers away from her face and holds onto her. She brushes a kiss against the corner of Emma's mouth then another over Emma's lips.

"The night isn't ruined. Our plans just changed." Regina's lips curve upwards. "Maybe even for the better."

"But what are we going to eat?" Emma asks quietly as Regina smooths her hands over the front of her dress.

"Don't worry, dear. There are plenty of restaurants in town that are open."

"But it's not as special."

"Believe me, you've already made this evening very memorable." Regina grabs her hand and leads her to the door. "Now come on. How about a hamburger at Granny's? We can eat with our son."

Emma smiles. "Okay. That sounds nice."

* * *

Tugging on the sleeves of her shirt, Emma lets out a deep breath and glances over at Regina. "So, did you have a good time?"

"Yes, I did. It was very memorable," Regina says with a small laugh as she steps closer and places her hands on Emma's waist.

"Oh, yeah?" Emma murmurs, letting Regina pull her closer. "What was your favorite part?"

"I'm not sure I can choose," Regina says, her breath skimming across Emma's cheek. "Why don't you tell me yours?"

Emma grins and curls her fingers into the dip of Regina's waist. "All I can think about is how much I want to kiss you."

Regina chuckles, the sound throaty and warm, and Emma kisses her, feels Regina's smile that sings straight through her blood all the way to her toes. Emma slides her hand lower over Regina's ass, and Regina sighs into her mouth, sinks delicate teeth into Emma's bottom lip then traces her tongue over the sting.

"You can come inside," Regina says quietly, pressing soft, sweet kisses to Emma's mouth between each word.

Emma closes her eyes and shakes her head. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?" And Regina steps back, taking her warmth with her.

Emma looks at her, looks at her with her smudged lipstick and small wrinkles in her dress, and _fuck_ , she wants to agree to go inside but she wants to do this right even more.

"Because if I come in, I don't think I'll be able to leave," Emma says, the words tumbling out in a rush. "And I don't think we're there yet. Like you said earlier.."

Regina studies her for a long moment, and Emma squirms under her gaze, feeling small in her rumpled shirt and ketchup-stained pants (completely Henry's fault but Regina had laughed and that made it not matter so much). Sighing, Regina moves back over to her and kisses her briefly, chastely.

"I don't think we are," Regina murmurs as she drifts her fingers down the column of Emma's neck. "But I think we will be eventually."

"Eventually?" Emma echoes, lips turning up into a smile as she leans into Regina's touch.

"Yes, I think so," Regina says, her dark dark eyes meeting Emma's, a hint of uncertainty in them. "Do you?"

"God, yes," Emma replies as she pulls Regina into another kiss.


	3. like to think that you were invincible

_"I think we both can see what could be better_  
 _I'll own when I was wrong_  
 _With all we've had to go through_  
 _We'll end up twice as strong_ "

\- "See I'm Smiling" from _The Last Five Years_

" _So this is strange,_  
 _our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance_  
 _where nobody leads at all,_  
 _where nobody leads at all._ "

\- "The Brilliant Dance" by Dashboard Confessional

* * *

 **Year Five**

"We'll be starting in ten minutes, Regina," Kathryn says as she walks up to the small group Regina, Henry, and Tamara have formed backstage. "Are you ready? Do you need anything?"

Regina shakes her head. "I think I'm fine. Maybe I'm a little nervous."

"It's just a chance for all of you to state your platforms and answer some questions," Kathryn says, taking Regina's hand and giving it a quick squeeze. "Marian is the moderator so nothing should get out of hand. And your opponents are George and Gold and Sean. You'll be fine."

Regina manages a small smile and says, "Thank you. I'll be ready to start soon. We're just waiting for Emma."

"She should have been here by now," Tamara says, frowning as she glances at her phone. "I'll try and see if I can get up with her. She might have gotten held up at work."

As Tamara walks off, Henry puts his arm around Regina's waist as he says, "You know Ma loses track of time sometimes. I bet she's already on her way."

"I hope so," Regina murmurs. She pulls Henry into a hug; when she lets him go, she cups his chin and says, "Do you want to stay backstage or are you going to sit out there?"

"I was planning on sitting on the front row," he replies, voice cracking some. "You know, so I can provide moral support and everything."

"Well, why don't you go on out there and get your seat?" she tells him.

"You sure?" he asks, brow creasing with worry. "Don't you want me to stay until Ma gets here?"

"No, I don't need a babysitter, _mijo_ ," she replies with a small laugh. "Go on. I could use a minute to myself to clear my head."

"Okay, Mom." He leans over and gives her cheek a quick kiss. "Good luck! You're going to be awesome."

She smiles as she watches him jog off. Once he's out of sight, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, mentally running back through the points she wants to make. Someone touches her arm, and Regina starts and smiles before she opens her eyes; her smile fades, though, when she sees Tamara standing in front of her.

"I couldn't get an answer," Tamara says quietly. "Do you want me to run down to the station? She might be able to get here on time if I hurry."

Regina bites the inside of her cheek and looks away. She swallows hard and shakes her head as she says, "No, don't worry about it, Tamara. You should probably go on out there and sit with Henry."

"Are you sure?' Tamara asks. "Because it'll only take me a few minutes. She must have just forgotten. I know she wants to be here."

"It's fine, Tamara," Regina says, voice soft as she presses her hands to her stomach and straightens her spine. "I'm fine. I promise."

Tamara still looks unsure but she nods. "Okay. Good luck out there."

"Thank you," Regina murmurs.

After Tamara is gone, she closes her eyes again and breathes in, breathes out. She waits there for few moments, hoping, but when Emma never appears, when she's still standing there alone, Regina rolls her shoulders back and walks out.

* * *

Emma doesn't get home until late that night. Henry is upstairs doing homework; he hadn't wanted to leave her alone after the debate, but Regina had managed to convince him that she didn't need him to worry. And so after a late dinner of pizza with Henry, Regina had started drinking. Not heavily, but enough that she's a little tipsy when Emma appears in the study's doorway.

"Hey," Emma says softly. "Did you guys already eat? I meant to call but my phone died."

"Where were you?" Regina asks, wincing when her words are slightly slurred.

Emma frowns, looking from Regina's face to the glass in Regina's hand; she watches the realization dawn on Emma's face and smiles coldly.

"Oh, shit, _shit_ , that was tonight." Emma's shoulders slump as she says, "I completely forgot. I'm so sorry, Regina. I promise I would have been there if I had remembered."

"That's kind of the problem," Regina replies quietly. "You just keep _forgetting_. And I'm left on my own, waiting for you. I'm always waiting for you to just show up."

"Please, Regina, I'm really sorry. Please," Emma says as she steps forward, hands outstretched. "I know this was important to you, and I'm so sorry that I wasn't there. Please, please, _please._ "

Regina sighs and looks away. "I can't keep doing this, Emma. I don't know when I can depend on you, and I can't—I've tried so hard to give what you need. But I can't keep doing this over and over and over. You have to do better. For me, for our son, for us."

"I'm trying," Emma whispers, eyes filling with tears. "I am trying."

"Are you?" Regina keeps her gaze focused on Emma, squares her shoulders even as tears slip down her cheeks. "Because I can't see it."

Emma flinches and turns away, voice low as she says, "Fuck, I _am_. But that's not good enough for you, is it? Nothing ever is."

Regina sips her drink and curls her fingers into a fist. Emma trembles as she stands there, and Regina bites back everything she wants to say to make this easier. She wants to savor her anger right now, wants to stop feeling so tired and confused and hurt for just a little while.

Emma looks at her with red-rimmed eyes and says, "Don't wait up for me."

"I won't," Regina replies, the words cracking in her mouth.

Then Emma is gone, and Regina sits in her study, in the dim light, sipping her drink as she tries to hold in the sobs that threaten to tear her into pieces if she lets them out.


	4. you make me feel like i am home again

" _Did I just hear an alarm start ringing?_  
 _Did I see sirens go flying past?_  
 _Though I don't know what tomorrow's bringing_  
 _I've got a singular impression_  
 _Things are moving too fast_ "

\- "Moving Too Fast" from _The Last Five Years_

" _Whenever I'm alone with you_  
 _You make me feel like I am home again_  
 _Whenever I'm alone with you_  
 _You make me feel like I am whole again"_

\- "Lovesong" by The Cure

* * *

 **Year One**

"Stop checking your phone every five minutes," Tamara says as she drops a stack of files on Emma's desk.

Emma scowls and puts her phone down. "I don't do that. I'm just, you know, waiting for Regina to text me back."

Tamara raises an eyebrow but doesn't respond as she sits down at the desk across from Emma's. Nodding to herself, Emma flips through the top folder and tries to pretend that she's interested in reading a report about Mulan and David's house call to chase some Lost Boys away from Granny's bed and breakfast. Apparently the kids aren't very interested in being upstanding citizens; at least, that's Blue's take on the situation. And, finally, Emma's phone vibrates with an incoming text. She swoops her phone up like it's her lifeline and her face falls when she sees the message is from Henry.

"Not from your lady love?" Tamara asks, and Emma fights the urge to flip her off.

"No," Emma mutters. "Just from the kid."

Tamara snorts. Emma does respond to him to say that, yes, she would be coming over for dinner, and she does manage to leave out any whining about how Regina should be texting her these questions now. One step at a time.

* * *

Emma sees the look on Mary Margaret's face and considers bailing out on lunch. She doesn't, though, and slides into the booth across from her mom.

"So, how's life?" Emma asks as she tries to subtly motion Ruby over to their table.

"Emma, I have something I want to talk with you about." At least Mary Margaret is smiling, so hopefully this won't lead to bad news.

"Okay, shoot."

"Now that we've all been back from Neverland for a little while, David and I thought that we should have a family dinner," Mary Margaret says, smiling. "You know, you and Henry and Neal could come over and spend the evening with us. And maybe Henry could even stay the night."

Emma nods. "Okay, but what about Regina? She's family, too."

There's a little wrinkle that appears between Mary Margaret's eyebrows whenever she's trying too hard to be polite. "Is she? The last time I suggested that we were family, she laughed at me."

"She's part of Henry's family," Emma says, already feeling a little worn out. "I don't think the kid would want to do something like that without her. And I don't know how he'll feel about spending a night away from home."

"He used to live with us, Emma," Mary Margaret says gently.

"Yeah, and a lot's changed since then."

Mary Margaret is pursing her lips like she disagrees, but for once, she doesn't seem intent on pushing the issue. Because, as it turns out, she has another agenda to focus on.

"I didn't know if I should mention this, but Neal told me that he thinks you're avoiding him."

Emma is starting to really, really regret agreeing to lunch alone with her mother. "I've just been busy. Regina's been teaching me magic almost every day, and I've been training new employees at the station, and I just don't have a lot of spare time on my hands to hang out with my ex."

"He is Henry's father," Mary Margaret replies, her face serene, and Emma has to work very hard to keep from clenching her hands into fists.

"Yeah, well, tell him that. He doesn't seem too interested in seeing Henry except for when it's convenient for him. I'm not obligated to give him the time of day just because he knocked me up," she replies.

She sits back and looks around for Ruby because they've been sitting here way too long without anyone coming by to just get their damn drink orders, and that's when she realized that she's been set up. Mary Margaret clearly arranged all of this and if Emma doesn't get out of there soon, she might just explode.

"Look, this has been great, but I have work. I'll talk to you later tonight when I get home," Emma says as she slides out of the booth.

"And when will that be? You've had dinner with Regina every night this week." Mary Margaret looks like she might start crying, and God, Emma does not have the patience for this.

"Because I'm spending time with my kid. I mean, I really should have moved out by now anyway, but sure, get your feelings hurt over the fact that I have dinner with my kid and his mom. Cry me a fucking river."

Emma doesn't wait for a response; she storms out and sends a quick text to Ruby as she walks down the sidewalk demanding delivery of a grilled cheese and large fry later.

* * *

"Do you actually want me to join your family for a dinner?" Regina asks as she combs her fingers through Emma's hair, nails scraping pleasantly against Emma's scalp.

Emma shrugs and shifts her head in Regina's lap. "I think so. I mean, it's not right to not ask you."

"But your parents don't know that we're…" Regina presses her lips together and looks away.

"Dating? Girlfriends?" Emma prompts, mouth spreading into a smile as she keeps going. "Paramours? Lovers? Remma?"

"I have not and will not consent to that ridiculous portmanteau Ruby came up with," Regina says.

When Regina doesn't say anything else about it, Emma decides not to press the subject and says, "Anyway, it doesn't make sense after everything for Mary Margaret to not, I don't know, want you there? And I'm going to tell them. I'm just trying to find the right time."

Regina looks down at her with those soft, soft eyes, pieces of hair falling into her face from her ponytail. "I'm not going to pressure you to talk to them before you're ready, Emma. I'm not all that eager to have your parents threatening me to stay away from their precious daughter."

"I don't think they'll be that way. Hopefully." Emma frowns and wiggles her hips as she tries to settle down into the couch cushions. "I'm surprised that they haven't been weird about it sooner. I do spend a lot of time over here."

"You did that before you asked me out."

"Yeah, but I spent at least half that time wanting to kiss you, so I don't know how much of a difference there is."

Regina smiles and Emma feels her heart swell because everything about this is perfect, them here on the couch, Regina's hand still in her hair, the golden lamplight on Regina's face. Emma props herself up on her elbows and brushes her lips over Regina's jaw, her chin, her bottom lip. Then both of Regina's hands are framing her face, holding her close, Regina kissing her soft and slow and sweet. Emma sighs into her mouth before pulling away so she can readjust and straddle Regina's lap, mouth intent as she leans back in to kiss Regina. It's a little less sweet, a little more hungry, and Emma can still taste the slight hint of maple syrup from the pancakes they had for dinner. Regina's hands are on her hips now, clutching hard and releasing, and Emma smiles as Regina moans quietly against her lips. Emma trails her right hand down to the hem of Regina's dark blue blouse, slipping underneath and touching soft, warm skin.

And, then, "Mom? Can Tamara come over and watch _Cosmos_ with us?"

Emma almost leaps out of Regina's lap before she realizes that Henry isn't actually in the room with them, his wary voice drifting down from the stairs instead. Regina steadies Emma with a hand against her back and laughs, pressing her mouth to Emma's neck.

"Is he checking to see if we're making out?" Emma asks in a low voice and Regina looks way too amused at Emma's discomfort.

"After last time," and Emma has the grace to blush because, honestly, their son should not have seen them like that with Emma in the middle of trying to unfasten Regina's bra, "I think he didn't want to risk finding us in a similar position." Regina raises the volume of her voice as she calls out to Henry, "Yes, Henry, that sounds like a good idea."

Emma groans and crawls out of Regina's lap back to the couch as she says, "How did I end up stuck with nerds?"

Henry appears in the doorway and rolls his eyes almost in tandem with Regina. "You like us."

"Most of the time." Emma scoots to the right on the couch and pats the space between her and Regina. "Come on. We can watch some mindless TV until Tamara shows up."

Henry snatches up the control and plops down between them, sidling into Regina's side as he turns the TV on. For some reason, it's permanently tuned to _Food Network_ these days, and Henry grins when he sees that some show about baking cakes is on. Regina catches Emma's eye over their son's head and smiles, and Emma slides closer to her son, stretching her arm across the back of the couch to brush her fingers against Regina's shoulder.

* * *

When Emma goes into the diner the next day for her regular cup of coffee and bearclaw, Ruby pulls her off to the side. Emma crosses her arms over her chest to settle in for an apparent lecture about how she should be nicer to Mary Margaret or something. At least Ruby looks uncomfortable about it, too.

"Is this about yesterday?" Emma asks.

Ruby sighs and says, "You're being really hard on her, Em. And she is willing to try, if you'll let her."

"Is she?" Emma says as she rocks back on her heels and glares out at the rest of the diner. "Because it feels like she doesn't listen to me whenever I try to tell her something."

"I'm not saying she's doing the best job of it," Ruby replies. "But—she's jealous of Regina right now. You're spending all of your time over there, and she keeps asking me if she's done something to upset you or drive you away. But she came in this morning and asked me if I thought it would be a good idea to do what you want and invite Regina to that family dinner."

"Of course it would be a good idea," Emma mumbles but she lets out a sigh at Ruby's pointed look. "Okay, fine, I know that things are still rocky between all of them, but I thought after what happened in Neverland that we were all in a different place now. And, I guess I have been blowing my parents off a lot recently."

Ruby smiles a little. "It's understandable why you are, Em. But they don't know about what's been going on. They just miss you. And Henry. You're just going to have to make a little more of an effort to meet them halfway."

"Okay. I can do that."

"Good."

Emma says, "So, is my breakfast ready?"

Ruby scowls at her.

* * *

Tamara laughs when Emma tells her about her dilemma.

"It's not funny!" Emma crumples up the empty greasy bag that had contained her bearclaw and throws it away. "I'm having very real problems right now!"

Tamara shakes her head and leans back in her chair. "I'm not saying that you aren't. But that doesn't mean they can't also be a little ridiculous. I mean, Regina and I are sort-of friends now, and so are we. If the two of you can find a way to try to get past what I did, I don't understand your parents' issue here. Honestly. Regina did most of the people here a favor with that curse."

"Well, okay, as long as you're laughing at them and not me. And we are friends. Mostly," Emma says as she pulls open one of her desk drawers and pulls out a root beer-flavored lollipop. "How is that magic project with Regina going, by the way? I've asked her a couple of times but I kind of keep zoning out when she actually tries to explain it."

"She's actually better at explaining it than I am, so I don't know why you think it'll be any clearer coming from me, but okay." Tamara says, "We're at a standstill right now. We've managed to figure out that it's not the curse or any remaining effects that's causing the problems with crossing the town line."

"So what is?"

"It's—the easiest way to put it is to say the outside world. Magic is foreign here in this realm, so it's like the world around you is trying to push the magic out. And since it can't do that, it's keeping it confined within the predefined borders of Storybrooke. It's like this realm is trying to contain the damage. It's also why you can actually use magic here without it going horribly wrong."

Emma frowns. "What do you mean by 'horribly wrong'?"

Tamara looks away and says, "In the best circumstances, the magic users I've seen have been eventually consumed by the magic they've used. And that's not assuming they're killed outright in their first attempt at using it. And when you have an uncontrollable force that is released with no supervision, it gets ugly."

"So you've seen some shit," Emma says eventually as she takes in Tamara's clenched fists and hunched shoulders.

Some of the tension bleeds out of Tamara as she looks up at Emma and says, "Yeah, I guess you could say that. Done some shit, too."

Emma nods. "Yeah. Hopefully you won't have to any more."

She watches Tamara's shoulders draw together as she takes in a breath and releases it.

* * *

Emma opens the door and grins when she sees Henry and Regina standing on the landing, a covered dish in Regina's hands.

"I brought dessert like I was asked," Regina says immediately as Henry reaches over and touches her elbow, a concerned look on his face.

Emma smiles. "Cool. David and I have been kicked out of the kitchen so you guys can chill with us while Mary Margaret finishes dinner. I can take the pie in to her if you want?"

Regina starts at the idea but she reluctantly hands the pie dish over to Emma as she steps into the apartment, Henry hot on her heels. While the two of them are busy taking off their coats and putting them in the small closet, Emma makes her way to the kitchen, peeling back the foil on the dish once she's out of sight, grinning when she sees that it's Regina's chocolate pie.

"Regina and Henry just showed up," Emma announces as she walks into the kitchen. "And Neal texted a couple of minutes ago to let me know that he'll be here soon. Oh, and Regina brought dessert."

Snow looks up from the pot she's stirring and frowns. "Oh. I already made dessert for tonight."

"But—" Emma pulls the pie closer to her body and says, "you asked her to bring something. And she offered to make a pie."

"Just put it on the counter and I'll take a look at it later," Snow replies, waving her hand dismissively as she turns back to the stove. "I have to keep stirring this gravy so it doesn't get lumpy. Go on back to the living room. Dinner will be ready soon."

Emma shrugs and places the pie carefully on a clean space on the counter. She starts to leave but turns back.

"Are you sure you don't want any help? I can stir things or whatever."

Snow sighs. "No, don't worry about it, Emma. I don't have much left to do and this kitchen really isn't big enough for two people. However, you are welcome to wash the dishes after we eat."

Emma grins as she says, "I can definitely do that. Okay. Just let us know if you need anything."

Emma sidles out of the kitchen and heads back to the living room, grinning when she sees that Henry has apparently talked David and Regina into playing a game of _Halo_ with him. Well, David is mostly complaining as he keeps dying over and over.

"You're picking on me," David says as his character is killed again by Regina's.

"No, you're just closer," Regina replies. "And an easier kill."

Emma catches Henry's grin as she walks up to the back of the couch and leans over it next to Regina's head. "So, you couldn't resist showing off your mad video game skills to David?"

"I had to beg her to play with us," Henry replies first as his character dies from a grenade Regina threw at him. "Aw, come on, Mom. That's cheap killing."

"You had time to get out of range," Regina says evenly as she picks up another weapon and proceeds to shoot David in the back. "And that's the end of the game."

David tosses his controller onto the table in front of him and shakes his head. "Remind me to never play with you two again."

"Yeah, they're competitive," Emma says with a laugh. "But, look, you got one kill."

"Because Regina wasn't paying attention," he mutters. Groaning, he pushes himself off the couch. "I'm going to see if your mother needs help setting the table. I'll leave you to entertain yourselves."

Emma takes the space on the couch he vacates and when he's gone, she leans into Regina. "So, it's going well so far."

Regina gives her a hesitant smile. "I believe so. Your father is growing on me."

"He does that," Emma says as she runs her fingers up and down Regina's right arm in a soothing motion. "And just about two more hours and we can go home."

"You're coming home with us tonight?" Henry asks as he peers around Regina.

"Yeah, I guess, if that's okay with you," Emma says, directing her attention back to Regina.

Regina looks a little dazed but she shakes her head and smiles, that one that's like the sun, and says, "Yes, yes, it's okay with me."

Emma can't help smiling back.

* * *

"Actually, Emma, I thought you would sit beside Neal," Mary Margaret said as she brought the roast into the dining room and saw Emma sitting down in the chair beside Regina.

"Does it really matter?" Emma asks but when Mary Margaret stops and raises her eyebrows, Emma just gets up and moves around the table to the other side.

Mary Margaret smiles and primly sets the platter of roast in the center of the table. Regina has a wary look on her face, but at least it's Henry sitting to Mary Margaret's immediate left and not Regina.

"This all looks delicious, honey," David says with a grin as he picks up the bowl of mashed potatoes and puts some on his plate.

Emma nods and grabs the green beans in front of her. "Yeah, Mom. Thanks for making dinner."

"Well, I'm happy to do it, especially since this a special night," Mary Margaret says, smiling. "Having Henry home again seemed like the perfect reason to make a roast."

There's a clatter of cutlery on china, and Emma looks across the table to Regina, concerned, taking in her stiff shoulders and fading smile. Regina catches Emma's eye and gives an almost imperceptible shake of her head. Henry notices, though, and Emma watches as he looks between her and Regina, brow furrowed; he doesn't relax until Regina reaches over and gives his shoulder a slight squeeze, smiling. Neal clears his throat and Emma starts, blinking at him.

"Can you pass the potatoes?" he asks.

Emma grabs the bowl of potatoes from David's hands, probably a little more forcefully than she should, and shoves them at Neal. "Here."

Hunching her shoulders, Emma pokes at the green beans on her plate and pretends that Mary Margaret and David aren't frowning at her while Regina and Henry have matching concerned looks on their faces.

It isn't until dessert that everything goes downhill. Fast.

Mary Margaret emerges from the kitchen with a chocolate frosted cake, and Emma blurts out, "Where's the pie?"

"What pie, sweetheart?" Mary Margaret asks as she sets the cake down on the table and picks up a knife to slice into it. "This is Henry's favorite, remember? I had David go pick up this afternoon."

"You're serving cake that you bought after Regina showed up with a homemade pie that you asked her to make?" Emma asks, voice growing louder with her mounting frustration. "I mean, God, Mary Margaret, even the crust is fucking _homemade_ and—"

"Emma, don't," Regina says softly, reaching across the table to try to grab onto her hand, probably to calm her down.

Emma jerks away. "No. This whole night she's been so goddamn rude and I want to know why."

"I am trying, Emma," Mary Margaret says, tears filling her eyes as she puts the knife down. "I don't know what you want me to do."

Regina stands up and says, "I think it's time for Henry and me to go home. Thank you for the lovely dinner, Snow."

Regina practically runs from the dining room, Henry hot on her heels, and Emma jumps up from her chair and takes off after them, calling, "Regina, wait! Wait."

Regina stops and turns to face her. "I really do think we should go, Emma. Staying is going to only make things worse."

Emma grabs her hands and squeezes them as she says, "I know. I'm going to—I'll talk to them. And I'll come by later? If you want me to?"

"Of course I do," Regina murmurs. She kisses Emma's cheek and smiles softly. "They are your parents, Emma, and they love you. Don't forget that."

Emma nods and steps back, pulling Henry into a one-armed hug. "I'll see you later, kid."

Henry grins and says, "Okay, Ma. Love you."

"Love you, too," Emma tells him as she ruffles his hair and lets him go.

She watches them walk out into the night before turning to go back to face her parents. Taking a deep breath, she walks back into the dining room.

"Emma—" Mary Margaret starts, but Emma shakes her head and cuts her off.

"No. I'm going to talk right now and I need you to listen to me." She tucks her hair behind her ears and sets her jaw, before saying, "This was important to me. And you promised to try and you didn't. Not really."

Mary Margaret opens her mouth like she's going to speak, and Emma continues, "No, I'm not done. The reason this mattered so much is that, well, I'm dating Regina. I have been for the past two months. I really care about her, and she deserves to be treated with respect by my family. She's Henry's mother and my girlfriend, and you have got to do better than this."

Emma glances over at Neal when she's finished and catches his smirk; she rolls her eyes and turns back to her parents.

"Emma, we didn't know," David says quietly.

"Well, you do now," Emma says. "And, really, it shouldn't matter that we're dating. You should still treat her decently."

Mary Margaret has been working her mouth this whole time like she can't quite speak and she finally gets something to come out, "But, Emma, you can't be serious about this! Think about everything that she's done!"

Emma sighs. "I have. We've been over this before. I thought you had moved past it."

"I have, but—Emma, are you sure about this?" Mary Margaret's eyes widen as she asks, "How can you be sure that this isn't, I don't know—"

"A trick?" Emma finishes for her, growling out the words. "God, I can't believe you. I just want you to be happy for me."

David steps forward, reaching out to her. "We're trying, Emma, but this is a lot."

Emma shakes her head. "No, you're not. You know what, I'm just going to go. I'll see you guys later."

She turns on her heel and walks out of the room and out of the house, ignoring her parents' calls for her to come back.

* * *

Regina opens the front door before Emma even makes it onto the porch, and Emma grins as she jogs up the walk and steps over the threshold.

"How did it go?" Regina asks as she brushes her fingers against Emma's cheeks, eyes dark and worried.

Emma places her hands on Regina's hips, steadying herself a little. "I told them about us."

"Oh. They didn't take it well?"

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Emma says. "But I think it might be best if I crashed on your couch tonight, if that's okay with you."

"Emma, you're welcome here any time you want," Regina replies. "Do you want a drink?"

Emma shakes her head. "No, just let me hold you for a minute?"

"Anything you want, _mi cielo_ ," Regina says in a soft, throaty voice.

Smiling, Emma leans in and kisses her, sighing against Regina's full lips as she pulls her closer. She slides her hands up Regina's sides and back down to her waist; Regina lets out a low sound that hooks in Emma's abdomen and _pulls_ as she slides her mouth along Regina's jaw to her neck. Emma walks Regina back until she has Regina pressed against the wall and a thigh pressing between Regina's legs. Regina groans, her head falling back against the wall, as Emma nips at her neck and pulls Regina closer against her, hands moving to Regina's ass and dragging up the skirt of her dress.

Regina moves her hands down and pushes against Emma's stomach, and Emma steps back, flushed and a little disappointed, but then Regina's hiking her skirt further up her legs and dragging Emma back to her, mouth eager and hot and wet as she kisses Emma and rocks her hips against her. Emma grins and shuffles a little to get her thigh back between Regina's legs, pressing forward and up, chuckling a little when Regina whimpers into her mouth and clutches at the back of her neck. She wants to slip her fingers against Regina's cunt, feel where she's so wet and aching, get on her knees and taste her, but their kid is still awake and in the house.

"We should probably stop," Emma groans as Regina rocks her hips again, one of her hands pressed against Emma's breast.

Regina nods but doesn't push her away just yet. "We should. Henry might find us like this. We can wait a couple more hours."

"Really?" Emma stills and looks at Regina. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Regina replies, drawing out the syllable as she drags her nails down Emma's back. "Once Henry goes to bed, I want you to take me upstairs and fuck me."

Emma swallows hard and tightens her grip on Regina. "Jesus Christ. Okay. Okay. We really need to stop."

"I think you'll have to let go of me first," Regina murmurs, smiling fondly at Emma as she tucks Emma's hair behind her ears.

Laughing a little, Emma steps back slowly, keeping a steadying hand on Regina's hip as Regina pulls her dress back down and runs her fingers through her dark hair. Her lipstick is a little smudged, and Regina chuckles throatily as she swipes her thumb along Emma's lips.

"You're wearing my lipstick now," Regina says and smiles.

Emma's cheeks get a little hot and she ducks her head. "I'll just go clean that off, then. I'll meet you and the kid on the couch."

She starts to walk away, but Regina catches her right hand, tangles their fingers together as she steps in and presses a light kiss to Emma's nose. Emma tries and fails to suppress a giddy smile.

* * *

After Henry goes to bed, after she and Regina wash the dishes from the ice cream they all ate, Regina takes her by the hand and leads up her the stairs and to her bedroom. Emma closes the door behind them, fumbles with the lock for a moment before getting it to work.

Regina stands near the bed, half-turned towards Emma, her hand out and expectant. Emma steps forward and takes it, presses her body against Regina's back and brings their joined hands down to rest on Regina's hip. Turning her head, Emma kisses the shell of Regina's ear and brings her left hand up the back of Regina's dress to grasp the zipper. She can feel Regina's slow breaths, and she slowly pulls the zipper down, knuckles grazing the skin of Regina's back. Regina exhales hard when Emma slips her hand past the fabric and drags the tips of her fingers up and down Regina's spine, pausing on one pass to slip further down and grab Regina's ass and scrape her nails against the lace covering it.

"Gods, Emma," Regina groans.

Emma smirks and presses an open-mouthed kiss to the side of her neck. "I haven't even gotten started yet."

She pulls her right hand free from Regina's grasp and grabs the top sides of Regina's dress, pulling them down over her arms and down over her ass until it falls to the floor. Crouching down, Emma helps her slide first one foot, then the other out of her heels; she takes advantage of her position to nip at Regina's ass, pressing a few kisses to it over the fabric of her underwear. She doesn't miss the way Regina lets out a soft moan and pushes back a little against her face. Emma gets back to her feet and puts her hands back on Regina's hips, turns her slowly.

"Hi," Emma says quietly as she moves her hands along hot smooth skin, eyes flicking from Regina's lips to her breasts.

Regina presses a warm palm to Emma's cheek and smiles as she says, "Hi."

Emma grins and dips her head to kiss Regina's palm before pulling her in for a kiss. She slips her fingers under one of Regina's bra straps, pulls on it a little as Regina bites down on Emma's bottom lip and swipes her tongue across it and into Emma's mouth. Emma groans when Regina slips a hand under her shirt and scrapes nails along the length of Emma's stomach.

"Take these off," Regina demands as she tugs at a belt loop on Emma's jeans.

"Impatient," Emma mutters but she grins and nods to the bed. "Get on the bed."

She unbuttons her shirt quickly, almost tearing a button off as she watches Regina step back and sit on the bed. Dropping her shirt to the floor, Emma unzips her jeans and struggles to get them down her thighs, suddenly grateful that she had at least taken her boots off downstairs. She has to bend over to pull off her goddamn too tight jeans and when she stands back up, she moans at the sight of Regina on the bed, legs splayed and eyes dark, bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she looks at Emma.

"Like what you see?" Emma asks as she crawls onto the bed and up to Regina.

She means it as a joke but Regina nods her head so fucking earnestly that Emma blushes. Settling her body over Regina, Emma kisses her, again and again and again, fingers wandering to tug at the fastening of Regina's bra, grinning when it comes undone. She throws it to the floor after she gets it off Regina and kisses her breast over her heart, lips moving down; she ghosts her mouth over Regina's nipple, licks it with a broad swipe of her tongue. Regina whimpers her name, and that's enough of a demand for Emma, so she brings one hand up to knead Regina's other breast as she presses her mouth in light kisses around the brown areola. She bites down on the top of Regina's breast and sucks; Regina arches up into her mouth and reaches up to pull insistently at Emma's bra.

"I want this off," she pants as Emma lets up with her teeth and moves to Regina's left breast, nipping and sucking at the skin around her nipple.

"In a minute," Emma says in between light kisses down to the underside of her breast. "I'm busy."

Regina groans. " _Emma_."

Tucking her tongue into her cheek, Emma sits up and reaches behind her back to unfasten her bra and slip it down her arms. Regina runs her hands up Emma's abdomen to cup Emma's breasts, fingers stroking lightly over her nipples. Emma sighs and covers Regina's hands with her own, encourages her to press harder. As Regina kneads Emma's breasts, Emma reaches down between Regina's legs and cups her over her underwear, grinning as Regina moans and rolls her hips against Emma's palm. She's hot and wet, dark trimmed hair visible through the sheer fabric, and Emma has to have more, pull her close and taste her.

She puts her hands on Regina's thighs and settles down between them, pressing soft kisses to Regina's pubic bone and drifting her mouth down. Regina's hips lift when she kisses Regina's cunt, open-mouthed and with slow flicks of her tongue over lace. Emma reaches up and grips the sides of Regina's underwear, pulls it down over her legs and throws it behind her as she slides back between Regina's legs, nuzzling her nose along the inside of Regina's thigh. Regina's trembling a little now, softly moaning out _fuck_ and _Emma_ and _gods_ interchangeably until Emma has her mouth back against Regina's cunt and licks carefully, gently. That earns her a gasp and Regina's hand winding into her hair, settling at the back of her head, and Emma grins as she presses her mouth closer, licks Regina again and again, moaning a little at the taste of her and how much she wants.

Emma kisses Regina's clit lightly, laughs when Regina jerks against her and stifles a small scream, then sucks it into her mouth, reaching up with her right hand to trace her fingers through Regina's wetness, circling Regina's entrance lightly before pushing her forefinger in. Regina's grinding her hips against Emma's mouth now, and Emma slides in another finger on her next thrust, curling them as she pulses her jaw again before licking Regina's clit.

"Emma, I want—" Regina groans, fingers tugging lightly at Emma's hair. "I want to touch you. _Please_."

Lifting her head, Emma takes the sight of her in, Regina's flushed golden skin, pupils blown wide, and she crawls up to kiss Regina, keeping her fingers working between Regina's legs. The kiss is messy, but Regina's moaning against her lips now as as she moves her hips with the thrust of Emma's hand, and then Regina's fingers are slipping between Emma's thighs, pressing against her clit. Emma grinds down in search of more pressure, lets a strangled _fuck me_ fall out of her mouth when two of Regina's fingers push inside her. She's embarrassingly close already so she presses her thumb against Regina's clit, determined on getting Regina to come with her.

"Come for me," Emma murmurs as she grinds down on the heel of Regina's hand. "I want you to come for me, Regina."

She circles her thumb around Regina's clit and then Regina arches up into her, voice breaking on a soft cry as she tightens around Emma's fingers; that's all Emma needs to push her over the edge and she just barely manages to keep from yelling Regina's name as she comes. She drops her lips to Regina's neck as she trembles and slows the movement of her fingers inside Regina, savoring every jerk and twitch of Regina's legs and hips. When Regina slips her fingers from Emma's cunt and pushes Emma hand away from her, Emma smiles against her skin and nips at it lightly before shifting so she can see Regina's face.

"Emma," Regina says softly, fingers dancing along the curve of Emma's cheek down to her lips. "Emma, _mi cielo_."

Emma smiles and kisses the tips of Regina's fingers. "So. You liked that? You want to do it again?"

Laughing, Regina pulls her close and kisses her and kisses her.


	5. i'll be the one (if you want me to)

" _And it's true_  
 _I tend to follow in his stride_  
 _Instead of side by side_  
 _I take his cue_  
 _True, but there's no question_  
 _There's no doubt_  
 _I said I'd stick it out_  
 _And follow through_ "

\- "A Part of That" from The Last Five Years

" _And I, I'm feeling so small_  
 _It was over my head_  
 _I know nothing at all_  
 _And I will stumble and fall_  
 _I'm still learning to love_  
 _Just starting to crawl_ "

\- "Say Something" by A Great Big World

* * *

 **Year Four**

Regina whimpers as Emma presses soft fingers against her clit, the pressure more frustrating than anything else. She bucks her hips up and pulls Emma into a kiss, nipping at Emma's smiling lips as Emma's fingers finally start to circle her clit.

"More," Regina demands with a soft groan as she scrapes her nails along Emma's collarbone and over her breast. When Emma responds by chuckling and sliding one finger into her, Regina says through gritted teeth, " _Fuck_ , stop teasing, Emma."

"Then you should be more specific," Emma replies as she pushes back in with two fingers on the next thrust of her hand.

Arching up into Emma, Regina bites back a whine and rocks her hips with the movement of Emma's hand. She's so close and when Emma presses her thumb to Regina's clit, Regina comes, clutching at Emma's shoulders, gasping Emma's name. As she tries to catch her breath, her body still thrumming, Emma strokes her hands over Regina's thighs, smiling down at her.

"I have to say, I've missed that," Emma says as she shifts onto her side and licks Regina's wetness from her fingers.

Regina watches her, pressing her thighs together at the sight, as she says, "It has been a while. But you certainly made up for that just now."

Emma arches an eyebrow. "I thought you were going to snap my fingers off after I took so long to make you come."

"No, I liked it," Regina says, leaning over and brushing her lips against Emma's. She hums at the small taste of herself still lingering on Emma's lip and reaches down to grab Emma's ass, pull her closer. "Maybe I'll return the favor."

"God, I don't think I'll live through that," Emma breathes out as she grinds her hips against Regina. "I was thinking about the strap-on. It's definitely been a long time since we've dusted that off."

"I like that idea," Regina murmurs, sliding her hand down between Emma's thighs and sliding her fingers through Emma's wetness. She brings her hand back to her mouth and starts to suck her fingers clean. "Gods, I want you to fuck me."

"Goddamn." Emma's voice breaks and then she's pressing Regina back into the mattress, kissing her with a hungry demanding mouth.

* * *

"Has Kathryn mentioned if she's planning on running for re-election?" Emma asks one night as she helps Regina with the dishes.

Regina stops rinsing off the plate in her hands and glances at Emma. "We've talked about it some. Why?"

Emma shrugs and takes the plate from Regina as she says, "Because I thought that if you wanted, maybe you could run. You did a good job while you were in office all that time and you still know Storybrooke better than anyone else. And you could probably get Kathryn to endorse you if she's not running."

"Did she put you up to this?" Regina asks lightly as she dries her hands and watches Emma close the dishwasher.

"That obvious?" Emma says with a small laugh. When Regina nods, Emma shrugs and leans against the counter. "Well, she does have a lot of good points. And maybe it would be a good change for you. It can't be all that interesting to just hang around here all day working on…things."

"And have you considered the conflict of interest with our relationship?" Regina replies. She arches an eyebrow. "I know people here are a little more relaxed about things because they still remember a time with royalty and it wouldn't be out of place, but I don't think the citizens of Storybrooke will be thrilled about the idea of me in office, much less while I'm married to the sheriff."

"Sometimes you forget that people see you differently now." Emma's smile is soft and something twists inside Regina's chest as she turns away.

"Not that differently," Regina murmurs as she starts to wipe down the counters.

Emma sighs and says, "Will you at least think about it? I don't want you to give up something you want because of my dumb job. Because I might not even be sheriff after the next election. Maybe I won't even run."

Regina snorts. "And who would be your replacement? Your father? Tamara? Please, dear, I know they would vote for your father but don't subject Storybrooke to that fate. At least not while we're still living here."

"In all likelihood, it'd be Mulan. But that's not the point," Emma says. "I'm asking: do you think you might want to run?"

"You're not going to let this go until I answer, are you?" Regina asks quietly.

"You know me."

Sighing, Regina presses her palms against the counter and stares at the wall as she says, "Yes, I would like to run for mayor. Are you happy?"

"Well, I mean, not completely because we still need to get you actually elected, but it's a start," Emma says, coming up behind Regina and wrapping her arms around Regina's waist. She rests her chin on Regina's shoulder and kisses her cheek. "I want you to have the things you want. So we're going to make it work. Okay?"

Regina smiles and cranes her neck to kiss Emma. "What would I do without you?"

"I don't know, babe. But if I get my way, you won't ever have to find out," Emma says, laughing as she kisses Regina again.

Reaching up a hand to cup Emma's cheek, Regina steadies herself in Emma's warm arms and closes her eyes as she says, "I'll have to hold you to that promise, _mi cielo_."

* * *

As Tamara folds a flyer in half, she says, "I think I'm going to ask Marian to marry me."

Regina stills and smiles as she looks across the dining room table at Tamara. "Really? That's wonderful news."

"Thanks," Tamara says softly as she grins. "I just have to figure out the right moment. But I've been thinking about it for a while now, and we've talked about the possibility some. I thought you might want to know."

"Of course I do," Regina says, reaching across the table and taking Tamara's hand, squeezing it briefly before letting her go. "I'm glad that you're happy together."

"We are." Tamara's eyes light up as she glances back down at the table. She picks up another flyer and folds it, setting it aside. "How are you feeling about the mayoral campaign so far?"

"We've barely started," Regina replies as she puts the flyers into envelopes. "It won't necessarily be easy, no matter what Emma thinks. There is a good number of people who haven't forgotten or forgiven me."

"From what I've heard, you were a good mayor even if people didn't like you," Tamara says. "That has to count for something."

"Hopefully," Regina murmurs. She glances at her phone and sighs when she sees no new messages. "I'm not expecting anything, but I would like to go back to work. Sometimes the days can get long."

Tamara nods her head as she says, "Emma seems to be excited for you. She spends all of her free time at the station talking about your campaign."

"Really?" Regina frowns and glances again at her phone.

"Well, yeah," Tamara says as she stops folding flyers. "Don't the two of you talk about it?"

"We have. Some," Regina says, voice quiet as she shrugs her shoulders and gives Tamara a quick smile. "But she's been distracted recently around here, with Snow's pregnancy and Henry and work. In fact, she was supposed to help me tonight with this but she had to stay late at work at the last minute."

"Oh."

"It's nothing," Regina says as she tries to stuff a flyer into an envelope and ends up crumpling it in her hands. "She'll be around to help me later like she promised."

Tamara doesn't say anything, and Regina keeps working, putting flyer after flyer into envelopes as she blinks away tears. After a minute of silence, Regina looks back at Tamara and asks about Marian and Roland, ignoring her still-silent phone.

* * *

"Do you think you'll be home soon?" Regina asks as she holds her phone against her shoulder and stirs her pot of simmering sauce.

"Yeah, I don't know," Emma says quietly. She clicks her tongue against her teeth and says, "David fucked up the paperwork again and I might have to stay and sort it out."

Regina sighs and turns the stove's heat down. "Can that wait at least one night? I was looking forward to having you home for dinner."

"You know that I would rather be at home with you," Emma says. "I mean, the kid is there right? It's not like we had any special plans or anything."

Regina's shoulders slump as she thinks about the candles she had just put out on the table, about Henry agreeing to go to the diner for a few hours so she and Emma can have time alone for the first time in months. She pulls at the seam of the new silk dress she had bought for tonight and sags against the counter.

"No, you're right," Regina says as she clears her throat and turns off the stove. "I'll just see you when you make it home."

"Yeah, okay," Emma replies distractedly before hanging up.

Regina puts her phone down on the counter beside her and slips out of her high heels, kicking them off to the side as she walks to the dining room. She stands in the doorway and looks at the set table, the fine china and crystal. Her eyes burn as she fights the impulse to break all of it into tiny pieces.


	6. let the stars watch (let them stare)

" _Take a breath_  
 _Take a step_  
 _Take a chance_

 _Take your time_  
 _Have I mentioned today_  
 _How lucky I am_  
 _To be in love with you_ "

\- "The Schmuel Song" from _The Last Five Years_

" _Let's let the stars watch_  
 _Let them stare_  
 _Let the wind eavesdrop_  
 _I don't care_  
 _For all that we've got, don't let go_  
 _Just hold me_ "

\- "Eavesdrop" by The Civil Wars

* * *

 **Year One**

"My parents want us to spend Christmas with them," Emma says, keeping her eyes fixed on Regina.

Regina doesn't even look up from where she's layering wide noodles in a dish. "No. Henry and I have traditions we do every year."

"You can't even bend them a little bit?" Emma asks as she grabs the romaine lettuce from the fridge and starts tearing it into a large bowl for a salad.

"This is really important to you?" Regina replies, moving to the sink to wash her hands and turning to face Emma as she dries them off.

Nodding, Emma leans on the island and says, "I mean, we don't have to change your whole holiday. But maybe we can just spend Christmas Day lunch with them? I know Thanksgiving was kind of awkward, but it wasn't that bad, was it?"

"Your mother broke a whole stack of my good china," Regina says, her face darkening with irritation.

"Not on purpose," Emma tries, but Regina shakes her head.

"Do you know how expensive that would have been to replace if I couldn't repair it with magic?" Regina snaps as she covers the lasagna dish with aluminum foil and slides it into the oven.

Emma sighs and says, "Okay, I agree with you. But with what I'm proposing, we'll be going to her house and using her good china." When that doesn't get any acknowledgment from Regina, Emma says, "How about you accidentally drop some of her plates and I'll repair them later with my magic? Would that work for you?"

"Don't patronize me," Regina grumbles, but there's a hint of a smile on her face. "Besides, your mother doesn't even have china. She'll probably use plastic."

"Just a thought. And, you know, plastic does melt. Maybe you can break out a fireball," Emma says with a soft laugh. She moves around the island and pulls Regina into her arms. "Come on. Just this one thing. We'll do everything else for Christmas exactly like how you and Henry always do."

Regina sighs and steps into Emma's embrace, resting her forehead on Emma's shoulder. "Fine. And maybe we can do a few other different things."

"Like what?"

"I was thinking a Christmas Eve party. So we can celebrate with family and friends." Regina lifts her head and smiles softly. "I thought it might be a nice new tradition. For all of us."

Emma tilts her head as she thinks it over, right hand tracing an idle pattern on Regina's hip. "You want to host a party. Here?"

"Is that all right with you?" Regina murmurs, leaning up and brushing her lips against Emma's. "It would mean so much to me."

"You planned this," Emma accuses but she's a little distracted by Regina's fingers slipping underneath her shirt. "You knew I was going to ask you about my parents."

Chuckling, Regina lifts her chin and says, "You give me too much credit, dear."

"Don't think you can play me and get away with it," Emma says as she grips Regina's ass and pulls Regina against her.

"Are you thinking about punishing me?" Regina asks, her voice pitched deeper, her hips grinding a little against Emma's.

Emma groans. "God, _fuck_. What am I going to do with you?"

"I imagine I'll find out tonight after our son goes to bed," Regina replies. She pulls away from Emma, kissing the corner of Emma's mouth. "Don't be afraid to get a little creative."

Regina smirks at her before leaving the kitchen, hips swaying a little exaggeratedly, and Emma swallows hard. She wants nothing more than to go after her and fuck Regina against the closest wall, but then Henry wanders into the kitchen and looks around.

"Need any help with dinner, Ma?" he asks.

"Yeah." Emma takes a deep breath and tries to ignore that she is so fucking wet. "Yeah. Want to help me finish the salad?"

* * *

As Regina shifts against her, Emma sighs and says, "So, you know how we were talking last week about that Christmas Eve party you want to throw?"

"Yes?" Regina murmurs as she kisses Emma's jaw. "What about it?"

"I told my mom about it. Since you said I should invite them." Emma pauses and swallows. "And, it turns out my mom has invited people who weren't on your guest list."

"What?" Regina glares up at her. "Whom did she invite?"

"Um, I didn't get an exact number," Emma replies. Regina pulls free from her embrace, and Emma falls back against the pillows with a groan. "I promise, Regina, I didn't tell her she could do that. But I don't know how to un-invite them without making you look like the bad guy."

"I can't believe this," Regina hisses as she throws the sheets back and gets out of bed. She grabs her robe and pulls it on, saying, "How dare she. I just wanted this one thing, Emma! Something for us as a family and our friends. But Snow can't have that, can she?"

Emma covers her eyes with her hands and says, "What do you want me to do?"

"Tell your mother that she cannot alter my guest list as she pleases. And if that doesn't get her to change her mind, tell her she can't come," Regina says as she starts pacing the room.

"I can't just do that."

"And why not?"

Sighing, Emma drags her hands down her face and looks back at Regina. "Because then we can just go back to square one with my parents, and I'd rather not do that. They're finally getting on board with us being together and this could ruin that."

"So you'll just allow your mother to continue to think she can interfere whenever and however she pleases?" Regina asks, her volume rising. "You want me to just tolerate this? Act like it's fine?"

"I don't know, Regina!" Emma snaps as she sits up, clutching the covers to her chest. "What do you want me to do?"

Regina just looks at her, shaking her head, shoulders slumped; she sits back down on the bed with a long sigh, and Emma scoots closer to her.

"I'm not angry with you, Emma," Regina says quietly. "This isn't your fault. But, I can't—do you know what it's like for some of this to feel the same as it was?"

"Regina," Emma breathes out as she wraps her arms around Regina and pulls her close. "I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, this isn't fair. I'll do something. I promise."

Regina laughs, the sound harsh and broken. "What can you do? You can't change who she is."

"I'll figure it out. But I can't let her make you feel this way. I won't let you live a life like that. That's over and gone. You're here now with me and Henry. I'm going to keep you safe," Emma murmurs, kissing the side of Regina's head. "No one's going to steal your life away again."

Regina lets out a sob and turns in Emma's arms, hiding her face against Emma's neck and trembling. Emma holds on tight.

* * *

Emma pulls at the sides of the dark green dress Regina had talked her into wearing and frowns at her reflection in the mirror. She still has a little over an hour before the party starts but Regina needs her downstairs to watch over the last of the food in the oven while Regina gets dressed. Henry has been floating around the house most of the day stealing small treats from the kitchen and hovering around the Christmas tree in the living room and all the presents underneath it.

"Hey, kid, get in here!" Emma calls when she hears footsteps in the hallway.

Henry pokes his head past the bedroom door and makes a face. "What is it, Ma?"

Emma waves him over as she asks, "Aren't you supposed to be dressed?"

"I was going to get ready but you wanted me," he replies with a long-suffering sigh as he gives her a short hug. "So, what's going on?"

"Do I look presentable?" Emma says, eying her reflection again and shifting her weight to the balls of her feet.

Henry groans. "Ma, are you kidding me? You look fine. Now I need to go get changed before Mom yells at me for not being ready."

"Okay, wait, one more question," she says quickly. She snorts when he stops and raises an eyebrow. "Do you think Regina will like the present I got her?"

"You've asked me that every day since you got her gift," he says as he rolls his eyes. "She's going to love it. Now can I please go get ready?"

"Yeah, go on, kid." She ruffles his hair and pushes him gently towards the door. "I'll see you downstairs."

He grumbles a little as he leaves, and Emma turns back to the mirror. Taking a deep breath, she slips into her flats and squares her shoulders. Just as she's turning to leave the room, Regina walks in, cheeks flushed. Regina stops in her tracks and looks Emma up and down; she smiles and Emma blushes, grinning shyly back.

"You look beautiful," Regina says as she walks over to Emma. She cups Emma's face in her hands and murmurs, "So beautiful, _mi cielo_."

Emma bites her bottom lip and shrugs. "I clean up nice. You know that."

Regina moves her hands to Emma's hips and steps forward. "I know. But you wore this for me."

"So does this mean I'm getting lucky tonight?" Emma asks lightly as she pushes Regina's hair out of her face.

"If guests weren't going to arrive soon, you'd get lucky right now," Regina replies. She brushes her lips against Emma's, then lets her go. "But I have to get ready. I left some apple cider donuts on a plate for you and Henry in the kitchen."

"Are you worried that we'll bother your perfectly arranged food?" Emma teases.

"I have good reason to worry," Regina says in an even tone. "Now get down there before I decide to give in to my baser instincts."

Emma grins and grabs Regina's hands. "That sounds even better than those donuts."

"Emma," Regina warns as Emma starts walking Regina backward until she has Regina pressed flush against the wall. "I'm serious. I have to shower."

"Just a minute," Emma says quietly.

She kisses Regina, pulling her closer by her hips. She nips at Regina's full mouth then kisses her again, harder, tongue pressing in and brushing against Regina's. When Regina lets out a soft moan, Emma backs off and presses soft kisses to the corner of Regina's mouth, her nose.

"Okay, now I'll go," Emma says as she smiles. "Unless you've changed your mind about the getting lucky right now thing?"

Regina groans and pushes her away as her head falls back against the wall. "Go. I mean it, Emma."

"Okay." Emma darts in for one more quick kiss. She laughs and turns to leave. "I'll leave you alone now."

* * *

"Regina certainly knows how to throw a party," Tamara says as she leans against the wall next to Emma. "Any reason why you're not out there mingling?"

"Just needed a break," Emma says, glancing at Tamara. "Making small talk is a lot of work."

Tamara nods. "You won't get an argument from me. I'm kind of surprised at some of the guests. I didn't think Regina was friends with all these people, much less liked them enough to invite them into her home."

Sighing, Emma says, "She's not. A lot of people are here because my mom invited them."

"Your mom?" Tamara says, raising her eyebrows. "She had input on the guest list?"

"In a manner of speaking," Emma mutters. "By the time I found about it, the damage was done."

"It doesn't look like the party was ruined, though," Tamara replies as she glances around the room. "People seem happy."

"Yeah, just keep the food and liquor flowing." Emma shakes her head and looks at Tamara, taking in the way she keeps fidgeting and moving her weight from one foot to the other. "Is there something going on with you? Some hot date making you nervous?"

"No," Tamara says quickly.

"So, who is it?" Emma presses.

"I didn't bring a date, Emma," Tamara snaps. She frowns and says in a softer voice, "But, I did meet someone tonight and—"

"And?" Emma prompts as she smiles. "Who is it?"

"I think she's one of Henry's teachers," Tamara says. She gestures to a woman with dark hair talking with Henry. "That's her."

Emma nods her head and says, "Yeah, she's one of Henry's teachers. Her name's Marian."

"Wait, Robin's ex-wife?" Tamara says slowly. She snorts. "Small world."

"You should go say hello."

"No."

Regina walks up to them and slips her right arm around Emma's waist. "Are you having a good time, Tamara?"

"She has a crush on Marian," Emma says, shrinking back a little against Regina when Tamara glares at her.

"Oh?" Regina says with a smile. "Do you want me to introduce you?"

"Yes." Tamara pauses and shakes her head. "No? It feels awkward."

"She's very sweet," Regina says. "But if you don't feel comfortable, I won't say anything to her about it."

Tamara lets out a long sigh. "Thanks. Maybe I'll work up my nerve to talk to her later."

"Maybe under the mistletoe?" Emma suggests with a laugh.

"Stop teasing her," Regina says mildly as Tamara rolls her eyes. "You have no room to talk about her being shy."

"Yeah, listen to your girlfriend," Tamara says, smiling. "I think I'm going to get some more cider. Thanks again, Regina."

As Tamara walks away, Emma turns towards Regina and says, "So you're not going to interfere?"

"No. I'm not your mother," Regina replies, her smile fading.

"Are you okay?" Emma asks. "Did something happen?"

"Not anything that hasn't already," Regina says. She shakes her head and gives Emma a wide smile. "But I'm fine. Have you eaten enough?"

Emma doesn't want to move on from what's bothering Regina but she says, "Three plates and counting. I think Henry's on his fifth over there."

"Honestly, it's like having a horde of teenage boys," Regina says as she chuckles.

"I like to think that we're a little better than that," Emma replies.

"Only a little."

Emma laughs and kisses her. "Come on, we should probably get back out there. Only one more hour until everyone leaves."

"Then we just have to live through tomorrow with your parents," Regina says, her smile faltering a little.

"It'll be fine," Emma tells her as she takes Regina's hand and leads her back to the party. "I promise."

* * *

She needs to stop making promises when it comes to her family. Because while Christmas morning was fun and relaxed, Christmas lunch has devolved into a disaster. It started with Gold showing up with Neal and Belle and making snide remarks about Regina and kept going downhill to the point when Snow started a mild kitchen fire and burned half the food. Regina finds her hiding out in the guest bathroom.

"I thought you might be sick," Regina says as she slips inside and closes the door. "I can't believe you left me at the table with all of them."

Emma pushes her hair out of her face and slumps against the wall. "I figured you would come find me when I didn't go back. I just couldn't take it anymore."

"Rumple is in fine form today," Regina says with a sigh. "And your mother, for that matter. You'd think we'd be able to manage one mildly pleasant family meal."

Emma holds out her hand to Regina and smiles a little when Regina takes it and squeezes her fingers. She lets go of Emma's hand and sits on the edge of the tub.

"I feel like that might be holding out for the impossible dream," Emma mutters. She gives Regina a bitter smile. "How rude would it be to grab the kid and make a run for it?"

"The thought is incredibly tempting. Though that would mean missing out on the rest of lunch. I know how important food is to you," Regina says, a sly look on her face.

Rolling her eyes, Emma says, "Yeah, lunch with dried out turkey and burned stuffing."

"I don't think she actually did that on purpose," Regina says.

Emma nods her head. "Yeah, I know. I'm just frustrated at the whole thing. I thought it would be nice to have Christmas with my whole family and it's just turned into a disaster."

"Most things aren't what we think they'll be, _mi cielo_ ," Regina says quietly. "But that doesn't mean they're inherently bad."

Emma sits down on the edge of the tub beside her and leans her head on Regina's shoulder. "I know. I just wanted this to be perfect and it's not. I wanted you to have a good Christmas. I'm sorry that my family keeps fucking everything up for you."

"Oh, Emma," Regina whispers. "This is good. It _is_. I have you and Henry and this might not have been what I pictured our holiday to be, but I'm so happy. I haven't been this happy in such a long time."

"Yeah?" Emma asks as she lifts her head to look at Regina.

"Yes," Regina says in a firm voice, her eyes shining as she smiles.

Emma pulls her into a kiss, steadying her with a hand on her hip. Regina hums against her mouth and drags her nails against the back of Emma's neck; Emma shifts against her and groans as she bites Regina's lip. She wants to pull Regina closer but she doesn't want to lose her balance and tip one or both of them into the tub. Then Regina kisses a soft line down Emma's neck, and Emma clenches Regina's hip in her hand as she breathes out Regina's name.

There's a quiet knock at the door. "Mom? Ma? Are you guys in there?"

Regina chuckles against Emma's neck then pulls away in spite of Emma's whine of protest. Emma reluctantly gets up and opens the door for Henry, letting him inside.

"Getting a little crowded in here," Emma says as she closes the bathroom door and leans back against the sink. "What're you running from, kid?"

She sees Regina rolling her eyes but Henry says, "I want to go home."

Regina softens immediately and gets up to hug Henry as she says, "Of course, _mijo_ , we can go now."

"Yeah, we were just about to come get you," Emma agrees, pushing off the sink and pulling the door open. "We can eat leftovers from last night and play one of your new games."

Henry grins at her as he steps out of the bathroom. "What do you bet that I end up with the highest score?"

"Nope, kid, not falling for that," Emma says as she takes Regina's hand and follows him out. "All of my money is going on your mom."


	7. stick it out and follow through

" _I've found my guiding light, I tell the stars each night_  
 _Look at me, look at him_  
 _Son of a bitch, I guess I'm doing something right_  
 _I finally got something right_ "

\- "A Summer in Ohio" from _The Last Five Years_

" _Then he smiles_  
 _And where else can I go?_  
 _I didn't know_  
 _The rules do not apply_  
 _And then he smiles_  
 _And nothing else makes sense_ "

\- "A Part of That" from _The Last Five Years_

* * *

 **Year Three**

Regina groans under her breath when the doorbell goes off. She contemplates trying to pretend that she's not there and hope that Snow goes away, but that didn't work two days before. She leaves behind the grocery list she was writing in her study as the doorbell sounds again, and she pastes a smile on her face as she pulls the front door open.

"Snow," Regina says with as much enthusiasm as she can muster when she sees Snow on her porch. "What can I do for you today?"

"I thought we could have coffee," Snow replies, holding up a plastic container. "I brought cake!"

Regina nods and holds the door open wider for Snow to come inside. "Of course. I wasn't busy with anything."

That goes right over Snow's head because she's still smiling as she follows behind Regina to the kitchen. Snow immediately goes to the cabinets and starts pulling down plates while Regina dawdles near the coffee maker, focusing on removing the filter and rinsing it out. She glances at the bright yellow squares of cake Snow is putting on the plates and sighs; it looks like Snow has been trying to bake again.

"I made a cake earlier this week, but it turned out to be way too much for just me and David," Snow says. She gives Regina a big smile. "And I thought it would be a nice treat to share with you while you had the house to yourself. I always look forward to our coffee dates."

"I appreciate the thought," Regina replies as she measures out the beans into the grinder. "What kind of cake is it exactly?"

"Banana." Snow gives the cake a contemplative look as she says, "I found a recipe online. It was so easy, and David really liked it!"

Regina rolls her eyes when Snow turns to put the plates on the kitchen island. "I'm sure it will be delicious. The coffee should be ready soon."

She then turns the grinder on and keeps her back to Snow so there won't be any further attempts at conversation for at least a minute; she ends up grinding the beans a little longer than necessary because the roar of the machine is preferable at the moment. Once it's done, she dumps the grounds into the coffee maker and turns it on before moving to join Snow at the island.

"I'm surprised you weren't busy," Snow says. "It must be nice to have so much time to yourself to do whatever you want."

"Yes, I doubt my life could be more fulfilling," Regina replies, her mouth twisting as she picks up a fork and pokes at the cake in front of her. "Do you still enjoy teaching?"

"Oh, yes," Snow says as she cuts a small, precise bite of cake. "We've been building bird houses this week."

"That's good." Regina takes a bite of cake and forces it down even though she wants to spit the dry piece of shit out of her mouth.

"If you want the recipe for the cake, I can send it to you," Snow offers.

Regina puts down her fork and smiles pleasantly. "I appreciate the thought, Snow, but Henry doesn't really care for bananas."

"Oh, that's too bad." Snow frowns down at her plate then brightens. "I'll just leave the rest with you, though, so you and Emma can eat it. I know how much she can eat."

Chuckling, Regina goes to the coffee maker and pours two cups for each of them. "Yes, she certainly does. And with Henry growing so fast, you can imagine how easily food disappears around here."

"Oh, I remember," Snow says, laughing as she takes the coffee cup Regina offers to her. "Sometimes I miss them living with me and David, though."

"Oh?" Regina murmurs, tucking her thumb across her palm and touching the cool metal of her wedding band.

Snow nods and props her elbows on the island. "Yeah. David and I have been talking, and—" she pauses and leans closer to Regina. "Can you keep a secret for me?"

"Of course, Snow," Regina replies even though it still burns and her magic flares briefly in her palms as she remembers.

"David and I are thinking of having a baby."

"Hey, babe, have you seen my leather jacket?"

Regina turns quickly to see Emma standing in the kitchen entrance and smiles. "When did you come in?"

Emma shrugs and bounces on the balls of her feet as she says, "Just now. I forgot my jacket this morning and thought I would come by to grab it since things are kind of slow. Hey, Mom."

"Hi," Snow replies with a small wave.

"Anyway, have you seen it?" Emma asks as she looks back at Regina. "I can just grab it and get out of your hair since it looks like the two of you are having a good time."

Regina shakes her head quickly. "Actually, I have something I need to talk to you about if you can spare a few minutes. Snow, do you mind?"

"Oh, not at all," Snow says with an easy smile. "I'll just wait down here."

Regina walks over to Emma and puts an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss to her cheek; she looks back at Snow and says, "I don't know exactly how long this will take. Perhaps we can spend time together later?"

"Okay," Snow says slowly as she gathers up her keys and moves around the island. "Maybe you all can come over for dinner soon?"

"Of course. I'll call you," Regina replies as she pulls Emma a little closer to her and watches as Snow leaves.

Once the front door closes behind her, Emma looks at Regina and says, "Did you just kick my mom out of here so you can get some?"

"No. I just wanted her gone," Regina replies, but she doesn't pull away from Emma. "And if you had tasted that horrible cake she brought over, you would agree with me."

"I mean, I don't really care because I know she bothers you a lot now, but maybe you can be a little nicer?" Emma says as she tears off a chunk of cake and pops it into her mouth. Then Emma chokes and mumbles, "Okay, I get it. Wow, that's bad."

Regina smirks as Emma rushes to the sink and spits the cake out before running some water and the disposal to get rid of it. Then Emma turns and looks her up and down, mouth curving lazily into a smile.

"However, while I'm here," Emma says softly as she walks back to Regina. "We can go upstairs and mess around for a little while. Especially since the kid's still out of the house with Neal."

"You're supposed to be at work," Regina says even as Emma is wrapping her arms around Regina's waist and softly, softly kissing the side of her neck. "What kind of example are you setting for the people of Storybrooke, Sheriff Swan?"

"It's my lunch break," Emma counters. Her fingers slide along Regina's waist as she says, "Which means we have at least forty-five minutes."

Regina arches into Emma, saying, "I don't think that's enough time for what I would like to do to you."

"Yeah?" Emma murmurs before pulling Regina into a kiss.

Regina sinks into her for a moment, savors the pressure of Emma's hot mouth, the slide of Emma's tongue along her lips and then inside. She thinks about giving in but breaks away.

"Later," she says, her lips brushing lightly against Emma's. "Henry won't be home until nine."

"Fine." Emma sighs and steps back. "I'll be home right at five, then. And then it'll just be you and me, and I can fuck you so good. Make you scream for me."

Regina shivers at that, at the way Emma is looking at her like she might just tear Regina's clothes off right then and there anyway. "I won't be able to think of anything else."

Emma laughs quietly and flushes as she says, "Jesus Christ. Okay, so I'll just grab my jacket and go."

"Right."

And if Regina's hands find their way to Emma's waist again, if her mouth kisses Emma's again, if she backs Emma up against the counter and moans into her mouth, well, it is Emma's lunch break and she has a good thirty minutes before she has to let her wife go.


	8. now i'll surrender up my heart

" _I don't know why people run_  
 _I don't know why things fall through_  
 _I don't know how anybody survives in this life_  
 _Without someone like you_ "

\- "The Next Ten Minutes" from _The Last Five Years_

" _I'm out of touch, I'm out of love_  
 _I'll pick you up when you're getting down_  
 _And out of all these things I've done, I think I love you better now_  
 _I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind,_  
 _I'll do it all for you in time_ "

\- "Lego House" by Ed Sheeran

* * *

 **Year Two**

"Have you ever thought about us, you know, getting married?"

Emma's question is quiet in the darkness of their room, her breath warm against Regina's skin as she curls closer to Regina. Regina lets the words hang in the air, trying not to stiffen at the idea, at the memories. She brushes a careful hand down Emma's back as she swallows back her immediate response.

"Is this your way of asking me to marry you?" Regina finally replies as she traces circles at the base of Emma's spine.

Emma doesn't respond right away but she doesn't pull away; Regina closes her eyes and waits until finally—

"Maybe." Emma's lips brush against Regina's jaw as she murmurs, "I want to marry you. But I don't know if you want, I don't know."

Sighing, Regina stretches and flips the lamp on before settling back against the mattress, her right arm curved around Emma's waist, holding her close. She takes in Emma's earnest bright eyes, her hopeful gaze fixed only on Regina.

"Any hesitation from me has nothing to do with you," Regina says slowly. "But I don't know. I'm sorry, _mi cielo_."

Emma shakes her head as she leans up and kisses Regina's cheek. "No, don't be sorry. I understand. That's why I didn't go all out with a ring or anything. I don't want you to feel like you have to say yes."

"Oh, Emma," Regina breathes out, reaching up to cup Emma's face in her hands. "I love you. _Te amo_."

Emma flushes and replies with a smile, "I love you, too."

She pulls Regina into a kiss, and Regina palms Emma's ass, squeezes it when Emma slips her tongue into Regina's mouth. Regina slips a thigh in between Emma's knees and encourages Emma to grind down. Emma is still wet from earlier and she's slick against Regina's skin as she starts to pant against Regina's mouth before moving her lips down to Regina's neck. Regina arches up at the press of Emma's teeth; then Emma's hand is on her cunt, just gentle pressure, but enough to pull Regina back in, enough to forget for now.

* * *

Kathryn looks a little startled when she opens her door and sees Regina, but she still smiles and says, "Regina! Do you want to come in? I was just about to put on some coffee."

Regina nods and follows Kathryn inside as she says, "I'm sorry to just barge in without calling. I know you've been busy with work, but I need someone to talk to."

"I always have time for you," Kathryn replies, leading the way to the kitchen. "It's part of being friends. Do you want anything to eat? Fred's been on a baking kick recently, and we have more cookies than we could possibly eat by the end of the year."

"No, thank you," Regina says as she takes in the small sunlit kitchen, smiling a little as she watches Kathryn move around the room. "I really don't want to keep you from your work."

"Honestly, Regina, I'm grateful for the distraction," Kathryn says. She measures out six scoops of coffee grounds into the filter and fills the coffee pot with water before dumping it into the machine. "If you don't want anything to eat, at least let me pack some for Henry and Emma. I'm not kidding when I told you that we have way too many cookies on hand right now. Fred tends to cook whenever he spends too many nights on his own."

Regina chuckles and nods her head when Kathryn turns with three large tupperware containers full of cookies in her hands. "I think they'll be grateful for the food."

As Kathryn starts putting an assortment of cookies into a very big bag, she asks, "Now what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Emma asked me to marry her," Regina says quietly.

Kathryn doesn't react, her eyes fixed on the task at hand as Regina sits and watches her. She listens to the gurgling coffeemaker and focuses on Kathryn's hands, examines and identifies the different types of cookies: sugar, oatmeal chocolate chip, and pistachio. Kathryn seals the bag and sits down across from Regina, letting out a long breath.

"How do you feel about it?" Kathryn asks, her blue eyes kind and gentle as she rests her hands on the table, near Regina but not touching.

"Surprised, I suppose," Regina replies. She pauses and frowns before saying, "I hadn't thought about it. Not really. I never thought I would want to be married again. And I don't know if that's changed."

"Okay. And how did Emma react?"

Regina shrugs. "She was adamant that she only wants to marry me if I want it too. It wasn't a typical proposal, which made it easier. But I can't help thinking about before—how did you know that you wanted to marry Fred?"

"It's not the same, Regina," Kathryn says, her voice soft. "I might understand why you're hesitant and struggling with the idea, but my situation was nothing like yours. There's nothing wrong with you if you want to tell her no."

Regina looks away, lips trembling as she whispers, "What if I want to say yes?"

"Then you do." Kathryn takes Regina's right hand in hers and smiles. "No matter what, it's your choice. The way it always should have been."

* * *

Regina goes down to the station once she leaves Kathryn's house, doesn't call or text, she just poofs there, a wide smile on her face as she appears in front of Emma.

"Yes," Regina breathes as she stands in front of Emma, smile growing wider as Emma looks at her with widening eyes. "Yes, I'll marry you."

Emma's mouth drops open, and Regina is vaguely aware of Tamara behind her but she can't look away because Emma is smiling, grinning, reaching out for her.

"Are you sure?" Emma asks as she stumbles around her desk to Regina, pulls her close, kisses her before asking again, "You're sure? This is what you want?"

"Yes, _querida_ ," Regina murmurs against Emma's mouth, kissing her again and again, laughing when Emma picks her up and whirls her around. "Yes, Emma."

* * *

Henry's thrilled when they tell him. He asks a million questions and makes fun of Emma for not buying Regina a ring, and they can barely manage to swear him to secrecy because the last thing Emma wants is for her parents to hear about it through Storybrooke's very efficient rumor mill.

She thinks they might know anyway with the way Mary Margaret is grinning at her across the dining room table. "Well, Emma, what is it that you want to tell us?"

Emma shifts in her seat and wishes again that she could have Regina and Henry with her right then even though it was her idea to do this on her own. Just in case things go horribly wrong.

"Um, well, I have some news," Emma starts. She licks her dry lips and says, "I asked Regina to marry me."

There's a moment of silence where they just sit and look at her, like they misheard or something. Mary Margaret finally asks, "And? Did she say yes?"

"Oh, yeah," Emma replies quickly, smiling. "Yeah, she said yes. I guess I'm going to be getting married?"

Mary Margaret squeals and leaps up, rushing around the table to throw her arms around Emma. David grins and laughs as he stands up and joins them, leaning over and pressing a kiss to the top of Emma's head.

"I'm so happy for you, Emma," David says softly.

"Yes, we're so happy!" Mary Margaret says, letting Emma go and brushing her hand against Emma's cheek. "So, so happy for you, sweetheart."

Emma blinks back tears and murmurs, "Thanks, Mom, Dad. I'm happy, too."

* * *

When Emma's phone chimes for the fifth time in fifteen minutes, Emma groans and puts it on silent.

"Wow, someone really wants to get hold of you," Ruby says as she flips through television channels. She stops on some reality show and turns the volume down. "What's so urgent?"

"Probably wedding planning," Emma mutters, digging out a handful of Doritos from the bag between them on the couch. "Mom's obsessed with it and if she's not texting or calling me, she's bothering Regina."

"Yeah, I actually saw her heading my way while she had an armful of wedding magazines and I might have hidden from her," Ruby says with a small laugh. "I mean, I love Snow, but the last thing I want to spend all my time talking about is your colors and whether or not you should wear a veil or if both you and Regina will wear dresses and what kind and then flowers. It sounds like a nightmare."

Emma snorts. "It is a nightmare. And it's also apparently going to be the event of the year which means everyone is going to be there and it all has to be perfect."

"How's Regina dealing with your mom and everything?" Ruby asks. "Especially since Regina doesn't like Snow very much even when she's not going nuts over every single detail of your impending wedding."

"I think she's doing okay," Emma says as she scoots further back into the couch. "She's going dress shopping with my mom on Friday. I was supposed to go, but I have to work. Tamara needed to swap shifts."

"Emma, you make the work schedules."

"Yeah, but the excuse seemed to fly so I'm sticking with it." Emma sighs and crunches a Dorito between her teeth. "I just don't think I can handle picking out a dress and my mom crying over it like on that stupid show you like to watch."

"Say Yes to the Dress?" Ruby supplies. "But you're going to have to actually go dress shopping at some point."

"Maybe not. Maybe I'll just wear a tux so I don't have to deal with it."

"A tux?" Ruby laughs and lightly shoves Emma's shoulder. "I mean, sure, you'd look good, but seriously?"

Emma rolls her eyes. "Don't be an asshole about it."

"Okay, but you really shouldn't put it off for too long. Snow might just buy you a dress to wear. A big, poofy princess dress." Ruby bursts out laughing.

"Oh God," Emma mutters but she can't help laughing at the idea.

* * *

"Your mother is insufferable," Regina says the second the front door closes behind Snow. "Do you know how many dresses I have tried on in the past five hours?"

"That bad?" Emma asks as she pulls Regina into her arms.

Regina buries her head in Emma's neck and groans, "It was horrible. I had to fight to even try on one dress that I liked, and the rest were all ones that she picked out. And then she got upset when I told her that I wouldn't be buying one today."

"I'm sorry, babe," Emma murmurs, rubbing her hands up and down Regina's back. "Were they all really ugly?"

"It wasn't that, Emma," Regina says, stepping back. "As questionable as your mother's fashion sense is, she did select some lovely dresses. But, it was like I couldn't have an opinion. She kept trying to talk me into liking something that I didn't and…"

"And?" Emma prompts, frowning as she takes Regina's hands in hers. "What's bothering you?"

"It felt like I was something she was dressing up," Regina says slowly as she slips her hands from Emma's grasp. "It felt like—it felt like so much that I don't want to remember."

Emma's eyes darken and she says, "We don't have to do this, Regina. We can call the whole thing off, because the last thing I want is to make you feel trapped or less than or, or—"

"No, no, _querida_ ," Regina says as she shakes her head. "That's not what I want. I want to marry you, Emma. I do. I'll just have to try harder."

"You don't have to," Emma insists.

"I know, Emma." Regina smiles and pulls her close. "And that means everything to me."

* * *

The doorbell isn't a surprise, Snow has been sending her text messages all day with questions and after a few hours of Regina waffling around giving any sort of answer to anything, Snow sent a curt message saying that she would just drop off the materials that afternoon. At least it's not a surprise this time, even if Regina does have to take a deep breath and steady herself with a hand on the door frame before pulling the door open and managing to give Snow a small smile.

"I wasn't expecting you until tonight," Regina says as she steps aside and lets Snow into the house. She eyes the armful of books and papers and magazines Snow has and rolls her eyes.

"I had a lull so I thought I could just drop these things by," Snow says as she readjusts the things she's carrying. "Especially since I've had all of these things for a week and neither you nor Emma could find the time to pick it up. Now, these are to help you decide on floral arrangements, colors, decorations for the church, and some other things. Where should I put all of it?"

She has a strong urge to magically summon a trash can, but she's trying. Emma asked to marry her and she's trying, so Regina crosses her arms over her stomach and nods her head in the direction of her study. "You can leave it in the study."

Snow's cheeks are a little red, but she just huffs and leaves the room. Regina follows after halfheartedly; she can't go into the study while Snow is still here because then there's the possibility of being forced into making decisions right now, and there are some things that Regina can't do. Henry barrels into the room and stops short at the look on her face.

"What's going on?" Henry asks as his eyebrows draw together. "Did something happen?"

Regina shakes her head and says, "It's nothing, _mijo_. Your grandmother just stopped by with more wedding things."

Henry grimaces. "Oh. Is Grams going to stay?"

"No, I just came by to drop that stuff off," Snow says as she walks back in. "We haven't seen you in awhile, Henry. Maybe you can spend a weekend with us sometime soon?"

"Um, sure." Henry shrugs. "I'd like that."

Snow smiles at him then looks at Regina. "If you could start making some decisions soon, that would be wonderful. We need to get some things set in stone soon."

"I'll do my best, Snow," Regina says in as pleasant a tone as she can muster at the moment, just barely managing to smile back at her. "Thank you for bringing that by."

Snow nods curtly and lets Henry see her out the front door while Regina hangs back. She rocks on her heels and glances in the direction of her study; she can already feel the dread and resentment dragging her down. Once the front door closes behind Snow, Regina makes her decision.

"Henry, I think I'm going to go upstairs for a little while," she says as she smiles at him, taking in his messy hair that's getting a little too long, his gangly limbs. "Will you be all right hanging out by yourself?"

"Sure, Mom." He's still frowning as he says, "Do you want me to look through some of that for you? Maybe I can make things a little easier for you and Ma."

"You can if you want, _mijo_ ," Regina murmurs.

He nods his head and gives her a small smile. "I like helping out with the wedding. Even if Ma didn't appreciate my suggestion of lilac for the bridesmaid dresses."

Chuckling, Regina says, "I think I agree with Emma about that. I'll be just upstairs if you need me."

"Go, I'll be fine," he replies, already headed towards her study.

She smiles and shakes her head.

* * *

She wakes up to Emma shaking her shoulder gently and softly saying, "Hey, babe."

Yawning, Regina rolls over onto her back as she says, "Hey. Did you just get home?"

"Yeah." Emma leans over and kisses her cheek before asking, "Do you want to tell me why our kid is picking out flowers for our wedding?"

"Oh, right. Your mother brought some things by earlier today, and Henry offered to help look through them." Regina takes in Emma's pensive face and frowns. She sits up and says, "Emma, is there something wrong?"

Emma sighs. "I don't know. Like, I'm not sure if I even want to ask this but—"

"But, what?" Regina asks.

"Regina, do you even want to get married?"

Regina shakes her head and reaches out for Emma's hands, closes her fingers around Emma's wrists. "We've been through this, Emma. I do. I promise you, I do."

"Then why do you seem so uninterested in anything to do with it?" Emma lets out a long breath and smiles ruefully. "I guess I could ask myself the same thing, but I want to make sure that I know how you feel about this. Because what we're doing now isn't working."

Regina can feel her throat tightening with fear as she says slowly, "What do you mean?"

"Do you want to just go to the courthouse and get married there and just get it over with?" Emma's words come out in a rush. "Because I want to be married to you but I don't want to deal with all of this wedding bullshit. And I'm starting to think that you feel the same way."

She takes a moment, considers it, and says, "Yes. That's what I want. I don't want another wedding; I just want to marry you."

Emma's smile is radiant as she pulls Regina in for a kiss.

* * *

Regina's radiant when Emma sees her. She's walking with Henry, arms linked, dark curls pinned back from her face, in a cream dress. Emma clings to David's arm and waits impatiently until Regina and Henry are there, Regina's cheeks flushing in the sunlight, her smile growing as she reaches for Emma's hand.

Only a week ago, they were throwing out all their wedding plans, something that Mary Margaret and David were much happier about than Emma thought they would be. It was Mary Margaret's suggestion to hold the small ceremony in Regina's backyard rather than the courthouse, and it's perfect. Emma's cheeks hurt from how much she's been smiling all day and she can't stop, not when she has Regina's hand in her own.

"You're sure?" Emma asks, her smile fading a little as she holds Regina's gaze. "This is what you want?"

"I want you, Emma," Regina replies, her words so easy and light. "I haven't changed my mind and I'm not going to."

Emma nods and grins; she wants to kiss her, to pull her close and kiss her until Regina is laughing breathlessly against her mouth, but Emma settles for walking with her to their family.


	9. and in the morning i'll be with you

" _And in a perfect world_  
 _A miracle would happen_  
 _And that day would finally be here_  
 _And it'd be me and you_  
 _Riding it together_  
 _And the things we do_  
 _Goin' like we planned_  
 _We're gonna make it through_  
 _And nothing else will matter"_

\- "A Miracle Would Happen/When You Come Home to Me" from _The Last Five Years_

" _And I told you to be patient,_  
 _And I told you to be fine,_  
 _And I told you to be balanced,_  
 _And I told you to be kind,_  
 _And in the morning I'll be with you,_  
 _But it will be a different kind,_  
 _'Cause I'll be holding all the tickets,_  
 _And you'll be owning all the fines_."

\- "Skinny Love" by Bon Iver

* * *

 **Year Three**

Emma sighs as she unlocks the front door and steps inside. She can see the glow of light from Regina's study so she heads in that direction after shedding her coat and boots. She knocks quietly and walks in.

"Hey," Emma murmurs, bending over the back of Regina's chair to press a kiss to her cheek. "Would have been home sooner but something came up at work."

"You didn't call," Regina says without looking up from the papers spread in front of her. "I left your dinner in the fridge."

"I already ate," Emma replies, rubbing the back of her neck and curling her toes into the carpet. "Dad and I called an order into Granny's when we realized that we were going to have to stay late."

"Oh," is all Regina says in response, and she's still not looking at Emma.

"Did Tamara come by tonight?" Emma asks as she moves around to the front of Regina's desk.

Regina doesn't answer, just makes a small notation under some complicated looking formula. Emma groans and hangs her head.

"You're mad at me," Emma mutters.

Now Regina is looking at her, gaze sharp as she says, "We've talked about this, Emma. I don't mind you staying late at work, but you need to call."

"I was busy," Emma replies even though she knows better, knows that this is just stubbornness, knows that she screwed up. Again. "It's not something I think about when things come up."

Regina's eyes darken and she purses her lips before saying coldly, "I see."

She stands up and Emma thinks for a moment that Regina's going to yell at her or maybe throw something, but Regina just leaves the room, closing the door quietly behind her. Growling in frustration, Emma goes to one of the couches and collapses onto it. She might as well get comfortable since she'll be sleeping there that night.

* * *

Emma shifts uncomfortably in her office chair; Henry's been glaring at her off and on for the past hour while he's supposed to be doing his homework, and she's been trying to ignore him. Ever since he turned thirteen, he's been having mood swings all the freaking time, and she and Regina never know if he's going to be his normal sunshine if a little bit of a smart-ass self or this angry stranger that occasionally commandeers his body. Well, that's the way Emma describes it; Regina gets a little snappy herself whenever Emma complains that Henry is being annoying. It's turned into yet another thing on the list of things that can start a fight at the drop of a hat.

Finally, she rolls her eyes and says, "What're you staring at, kid?"

"You and Mom are fighting," he replies, a surly look on his face. "What did you do?"

"Why is it always my fault?" Emma mutters, because it's not, it really isn't, even if it is this time. "And it's nothing. Just a little disagreement."

"You've barely talked to each other the past two days." And he looks less angry now, more earnest, more like the kid who came and found her all those years ago. "What's going on?"

Emma sighs and holds his gaze as she says, "It's nothing you need to worry about, okay? We're going to fight sometimes. That's normal."

He raises his eyebrow, a little mini-Regina. "You don't normally fight like this. Not for this long."

"We'll work it out, kid. Just give it a little time," she replies as she slumps back in her chair.

"Okay," he says, obviously a little dubious about it. He fiddles with his pencil as he says, "I just want you guys to be happy."

"Henry," Emma breathes out, her heart constricting like it's been squeezed. "We are. It's just a bump in the road."

He smiles, then, but it's a little uncertain. "Okay, Ma."

* * *

"You should apologize," Tamara says in lieu of an actual greeting when Emma walks into the station.

"Um, hey," Emma replies, stopping short and frowning at her. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Your fight with Regina. It's been three days, Emma. Just apologize," Tamara says as she leans back in her chair and props her feet up on her desk. "Especially since you're obviously miserable, too, with the way you've been moping around here."

Emma rolls her eyes and walks to her desk. "I don't remember asking for your advice."

"Look, you're both my friend, and I don't like getting involved in relationship bullshit anyway, but I don't get why you're dragging this out." Tamara shakes her head and says, "You know you screwed up, and yet here you are acting like Regina kicked you while you were down or something."

"If you don't want to get involved, then why are you even bringing this up?" Emma asks, voice tight and irritated as she sits down behind her desk and glares at the paperwork David was supposed to finish and didn't.

Tamara slides her feet off her desk and leans her elbows on the surface as she looks straight at Emma and says, "Because Regina is hurting and you're acting like an asshole to your wife who _loves_ you. And it would be so easy for you to fix it."

"Fuck off," Emma mutters, staring pointedly right past Tamara.

Tamara snorts and gets up, shaking her head again. "Okay, fine. I have other stuff I can do than sit around here all afternoon and deal with your bullshit. You can call me if you need me."

Emma waits until she's gone to throw her cup of pencils across the room.

* * *

Emma lingers outside their bedroom door as she fiddles with her wedding ring, twists it around and around her finger. She walks in and stops when she sees Regina coming out of the bathroom towel-drying her wet hair. Regina pauses for a moment, balanced on the balls of her feet, then she continues across the room, turning her back to Emma.

"I'm sorry," Emma says, voice breaking as she steps forward. "I am, Regina. I don't know why it took me so long to just, I don't know, tell you."

Regina keeps her back turned to Emma as she says, "I don't understand, either. But I don't know if I can just stop being mad at you now because you want me to."

"That's not why I'm apologizing," Emma replies, walking over to Regina, reaching out but not quite touching her.

"Isn't it?" Regina looks at her, her mouth drawn tight. "Because I don't know what makes today different from yesterday or the day before when you were sulking around the house and refusing to look at me."

"Regina," Emma murmurs as she rests her hand at the dip of Regina's waist. "I am sorry. I know that I was wrong. And I'm going to try to do better."

"But that's not what I'm worried about," Regina says, stepping away from Emma and walking to bed. She sits and looks at the floor, long dark hair hiding her face from view. "We can't fight like this. Arguments are normal in any relationship, but going days without talking to each other, making our son feel like he has to tiptoe around us—that can't keep happening, Emma."

"I know." Emma goes to her knees in front of Regina and peers up at her face. "I know, Regina. It's not going to be like that again, okay? Please, believe me."

Emma puts her hands on Regina's knees and waits, thumbs pressed to the warm crease of her skin, wanting to kiss her, push her down to the bed, but she waits. Regina looks down at Emma's fingers on her skin while Emma waits and breathes in and out and waits, and then Regina covers Emma's hands with her own, a slight smile pulling at her lips.

"Okay," Regina whispers. "I do, _querida_. Of course I do."

Emma grins and leans up, kisses Regina.


	10. is this the place i've been dreaming of

" _I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs_  
 _With the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs_  
 _I will not be the girl in the sensible shoes_  
 _Pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues_  
 _I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels_  
 _To be trotting along at the genius's heels_  
 _I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by_ "

\- "Climbing Uphill" from _The Last Five Years_

" _I walked across an empty land_  
 _I knew the pathway like the back of my hand_  
 _I felt the earth beneath my feet_  
 _Sat by the river and it made me complete_ "

\- "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane

* * *

 **Year Two**

Regina puts out a fresh batch of apple cider donuts when she hears the front door open. She waits by the sink until Emma finds her way into the kitchen. Emma notices the donuts first and frowns.

"Are you trying to bribe me or something?" Emma asks as she stops at the island in front of the plate.

Regina exhales through her nose and says, "Possibly. Or maybe I just made a treat for you and I find it incredibly insulting that you would think I have an ulterior motive."

Emma nods her head slowly and moves around the island to her. "Yeah, I'm going with the first option. And you're just mad that I figured it out before it worked."

"Well, I wouldn't say it's a complete failure yet," Regina says as she watches Emma.

"You don't always have to bribe me with food, you know," Emma says in a low voice as she puts her hands on Regina's hips. "There are other things that would work."

Regina stiffens and pushes Emma's hands away. "No."

"Okay," Emma replies, moving back a little to give Regina some space. "So, what are you trying to bribe me to do?"

"It's nothing horrible." Regina pauses and tilts her head to the side as she says, "Tamara wants us to go on a double date with her and Marian."

"So they've actually been out on a date?" Emma says as she wanders back to the donuts and takes one. "Good for her."

"Not exactly. They've talked some, but Tamara hasn't worked up the nerve to ask Marian out yet." Regina pauses and watches as Emma stuffs half the donut in her mouth. She smiles and continues, "Which is where we come in."

"Not following you, babe," Emma says around a mouthful of donut.

"A double date, Emma," Regina says with a sigh. "As a favor to Tamara."

Emma swallows and shakes her head as she chuckles. "Oh man, I thought it would be something worse than that. You really made donuts to bribe me into doing something I would have agreed to anyway?"

"I did think you would like them," Regina replies as she walks over to Emma. "And I thought a little something to sweeten the pot would help if you were resistant to the idea."

"You know you don't have to do stuff like that, right?" Emma says in a soft voice, putting the donut back on the plate and taking Regina's hands in her own. "You can just ask for stuff that you want, okay? Nothing else required."

Regina smiles, presses her thumb to Emma's pulse to feel the slow steady beat. "Okay."

* * *

"Thank you again for last night," Tamara says as Regina paces the town line. "I think Marian had a really good time."

"And how good a time was that?" Regina asks with a sly smile.

Tamara shakes her head and says, "Don't even go there. I took her home, said good night, and then I left."

"No kiss?" Regina replies as she flips through the diagrams in her hand.

"There might have been a kiss. Or two," Tamara says, coming up beside Regina and looking at the paper in her hands. "Are you sure that it's a good idea to try to inspect the border? We're still not sure about some key elements here."

Regina hums under her breath and nods her head, handing the papers off to Tamara. "We keep hitting dead ends. Maybe taking another look at the magic here will help us figure out what we're missing."

"Will I even be able to see what you're doing?" Tamara asks as Regina raises her hands.

"I suppose we'll find out in a minute," Regina says before she tentatively reaches out to the border with her magic.

When she hits the stubborn wall of magic sitting on the town line, Regina spreads her magic over it, the air shimmering in front of her as the border is revealed, semi-transparent and purple as a bruise. She can feel the familiarity of the magic built into the border, see the roots of the curse that have merged with something else.

"Oh, I can actually see it," Tamara says quietly, coming up beside Regina and reaching a hesitant hand out. The magic vibrates and buzzes as Tamara's fingers brush against it. "Can you feel that?"

"I can," Regina says, gritting her teeth as she gets a tighter hold on her magic to keep it in place. "Please stop. If we push too hard, it'll push back."

Tamara snatches her hand back, and Regina lets out a long breath as she starts to prod gently along the border with her magic, looking for any weak spots, a point of origin, something that can be exploited in their favor. She loses track of time as she works, barely noticing the metallic taste of blood rising in her mouth or the trembling of her hands as she reaches further and further out with her magic.

Tamara's hand on her arm pulls her away, and Regina sways on the spot as her connection to the border fades and her magic sinks back underneath her skin.

"Are you okay?" Tamara asks in a soft voice.

Regina swallows and blinks once, twice; she looks at Tamara and gives her a wan smile. "I think I'm a little tired."

"Let's get you home." Tamara wraps an arm around Regina's waist and guides her to the car. "Did you find anything?"

Regina doesn't answer as she struggles into the passenger seat. She closes her eyes and waits.

It's not until they're halfway back home that Regina murmurs, "No."

* * *

She tries really hard not to be mad when Emma finally walks in the front door. She does.

But when Emma greets her with just a casual, "Hey," and nothing else, Regina almost loses it.

"Where the hell were you?" Regina snaps out. "Henry and I waited on dinner for you, and you never came home! And you didn't call or text me to let me know anything."

"Shit." Emma closes her eyes and grimaces. "I meant to, I promise, Regina. Neal came by the station and asked if I wanted to grab a burger when I got done with my shift. I meant to text you but I got busy, and I guess I forgot. I'm sorry."

"That's it?" Regina's voice rises with her anger and she shakes her head. "You take off with Neal even though you had plans with Henry and me, and that's all you have to say?"

Emma narrows her eyes as she says slowly, "Wait, are you mad because I forgot to let you know or are you mad because you're jealous?"

"Does it matter?" Regina shoots back, instantly regretting it.

"I think so," Emma says as she crosses her arms over chest. "Because you should trust me no matter who I'm with. And I'm not going to let your jealousy dictate my life."

"That's not what this is," Regina says. "This isn't me trying to control you. Don't turn your screw-up around on me."

"I don't know, it feels the same," Emma replies, an edge creeping into her voice. "It's not that big a deal, Regina. I missed one dinner. I'm still here."

"Gods, I can't believe you," Regina hisses. "Why are you acting like this?"

"Why are you?" Emma snaps back. She shrugs her shoulders and pulls the door open. "Fuck this. I'm going out. Maybe I'll come back later."

Regina grinds her teeth. "Stop acting like a child, Emma."

"Yeah, well you first," Emma mutters before she stalks outside, slamming the door behind herself.

Regina holds in the scream rising in her throat and waits, sure that Emma will come back in after a few moments. She's never stormed out before; they've never had a disagreement that they don't resolve almost immediately. And maybe she is being a little petty and jealous; it's not as though she's actually worried about Neal stealing Emma away from her. But with every second that goes by, her frustration mounts and uncertainty starts to bloom.

She fishes her phone out of her pants pocket and sends Emma a text: _Please come home. I'm sorry._

She waits.

* * *

She wakes up to find Emma sitting next to her on their bed.

"Emma," Regina starts as she sits up and reaches out to her, but Emma cuts her off.

"No, wait," Emma says quietly, but she does take Regina's hand in her own. "I'm sorry. I fucked up and I should have let you know. And I shouldn't have tried to make you feel guilty when I was the one who screwed up. I'm sorry."

Regina breathes out and sits up on her knees, reaching up with her free hand to cup Emma's cheek. "I'm sorry, too, _querida_. I shouldn't have gotten so angry with you. It was a mistake. I should be able to understand that."

Emma smiles, and Regina traces the curve of her soft lips with her thumb. Then Emma tugs on her hand, pulls Regina into her arms, and Regina goes, lets herself fall, lets Emma catch her and hold her close.


	11. love is clockworks (and it's cold steel)

So, before we get to the story, I want to address something here. Regina is Latina. Lana Parrilla has spoken on this subject multiple times (I would post a link but this site won't let me. Go and search for "lana parrilla alma award" on youtube and you'll see her give a speech where she says it. And that's just one instance). To say otherwise is an outright lie and it's absolutely infuriating that anyone would try to erase that from Regina's characterization. And if you do feel the need to do that, kindly fuck off and quit reading this fic. Thank you.

* * *

" _If I didn't believe in you_  
 _Then here's where the travelogue ends_  
 _If I didn't believe in you_  
 _I couldn't have stood before all of our friends_  
 _And said, 'This is the life I choose-_  
 _This is the thing I can't bear to lose_  
 _Trip us or trap us, but we refuse to fall_ '"

\- "If I Didn't Believe in You" from _The Last Five Years_

" _Love is clockworks,_  
 _And it's cold steel_  
 _Fingers too numb to feel_  
 _Squeeze the handle_  
 _Blow out the candle_  
 _Blindness_ "

\- "Love Is Blindness" by Jack White

* * *

 **Year Four**

Emma walks into the kitchen for a glass of water. It's after midnight, Regina and Henry went to bed hours ago, so she's not expecting to see anyone. So it's kind of a surprise to see Regina sitting at the kitchen island with a carton of ice cream.

"Hey," Emma says as she stops short. "I didn't hear you come downstairs."

"I couldn't sleep," Regina replies, her eyes focused on the spoonful of chocolate ice cream in her hands. "When did you get in?"

"A little while ago," Emma replies as she gets a glass down from the cabinet and goes to the sink to fill it with water. "I thought I could just crash in your study. Didn't want to wake you up."

Regina snorts. "That's not why."

"Come on, Regina," Emma mutters, bracing her hands on the sink as she looks out the window into the night. "I called. You knew I wasn't going to be home."

Regina doesn't respond; Emma groans and turns to face her, leaning back against the counter as she drinks her water. The granite digs into her spine through her shirt as she watches Regina. She finishes her water and slams her glass down onto the counter.

"Fuck, what do you want from me, Regina?" Emma asks in a low voice. "It's like nothing I do is good enough for you."

Regina looks away and says, "I think this is the first conversation we've had all week. Does that matter to you?"

"What, that the only time we talk right now is to fight?" Emma rolls her eyes and says, "I don't think you can say that's all my fault."

"No." Regina's voice is soft, her face in shadow as she speaks. "That's not what I meant."

"Then what the hell are you trying to say?" Emma asks.

Regina gets up and shakes her head. "I don't want to fight with you, Emma. Not tonight. Just come to bed."

Emma barks out a laugh, the sound tearing through her throat as she roots herself in front of the sink. "No. If you're going to be pissed at me even when I'm doing exactly what you asked me to, I'll just sleep down here."

"You don't have to," Regina says, and she's looking at Emma now, eyes dark and wide as she reaches out to Emma. "Please."

"I'll see you in the morning," Emma replies as she turns away.

She listens to Regina leave and blinks back the tears gathering in her eyes. She turns the tap on and fills her glass again.

* * *

"I'm sorry," Emma breathes out as she approaches Regina in their bedroom. "Regina, I'm sorry."

Regina smiles sadly and takes her hand, pulls Emma into her arms. "Why are you apologizing?"

Emma leans her head on Regina's shoulder as she says, "I was mean to you last night. I don't know why. I'm sorry."

"I wasn't exactly fair, though," Regina replies as she rubs her thumbs in small soothing circles on Emma's lower back. "I was trying to get a rise out of you."

Emma closes her eyes and lets out a wet laugh, tears slipping down her cheeks. "Why do we keep doing this to each other?"

"I don't know," Regina murmurs.

"I just want to be happy with you," Emma says as she lifts her head and looks at Regina. "Can we just try to be happy again?"

Regina nods. "I want that, Emma. I do."

"Okay," Emma whispers, pulling Regina into a kiss.

* * *

Shifting in her seat, Emma glances from Mary Margaret's wide smile down to her grilled cheese. She hadn't exactly wanted to meet her mom for their regular Saturday lunch but she's here and starting to get a little concerned about the way Mary Margaret's smile keeps getting bigger and bigger as each second goes by.

"Okay, what's going on?" Emma asks as she picks up a fry and drags it through her ketchup. "You look like you're sitting on some huge secret you can't wait to share."

"I'm pregnant!" Mary Margaret replies in a rush of breath.

Emma freezes and drops the ketchup-covered fry into her lap. Her throat constricts as she takes in her mom's glowing face, listens to Mary Margaret as she starts talking about the timing and due dates and possible names, tries to remember how to breathe. She thinks she's smiling, though, because Mary Margaret doesn't seem to notice, and Emma manages to fish the fry out of her lap and throw it back onto her plate as she blinks hard and tries to come up with something to say.

"Congratulations," she finally manages in a weak voice. "I'm so happy for you."

Mary Margaret reaches across the table and takes Emma's trembling hand as she smiles. "Thank you, Emma. David and I couldn't be happier."

Emma bites the inside of her cheek and resists the urge to snatch her hand back. Thankfully, her phone goes off then and Emma fumbles for it.

"Hello?" she says quickly as she manages to get her hand out of her mom's grasp.

"Hey," Neal says, his voice crackling with the shitty reception in the diner. "You busy tonight? I was thinking about grabbing a drink at the Rabbit Hole."

"Yeah, count me in," Emma replies without thinking. After Neal hangs up, Emma gives Mary Margaret an apologetic look as she says, "Look, I'm sorry to run out on you, but I have to go home. But it really is good news."

Emma grabs her keys and throws a ten on the table. Mary Margaret slides out of the booth, too, and then she wraps her arms around Emma, holding her close.

"I love you, Emma," Mary Margaret says as she squeezes Emma's waist.

Emma closes her eyes and says, "Love you, too, Mom."

* * *

She catches sight of Regina as she stumbles in the front door, tripping over her own feet and dropping her keys.

She stops and leans heavily on the door frame as she tries to get her shoes off. "Shit."

"I take it you had a good night?" Regina's voice is low, dangerous, but then her hands are around Emma's waist, holding her up.

"Might have had a little too much to drink," Emma mutters as she sways and clutches at Regina. "How was your day?"

"I've had better," Regina says, grunting as Emma slips and digs her elbow into Regina's hip. "Your mother came by."

"Oh, really?" Emma stills and swallows as she tries to focus on Regina. She bares her teeth as she says, "Did you hear the wonderful news?"

Regina's eyebrows draw together as she says, "Yes, she told me. I was worried about you."

"Why?" Emma laughs and stumbles back, grabbing onto Regina's wrist. "I'm so _happy_."

"Clearly," Regina mutters. "Come on, Emma. Let's get you into bed."

Regina moves and wraps an arm around Emma's waist. Emma lets her, because she wouldn't be able to get anywhere otherwise since the room is spinning. She swallows hard again and stiffens, bending over as she vomits on the floor, shuddering as she retches and sobs. Regina's hands hold Emma's hair away from her face, fingers cool against Emma's overheated neck.

"I'm sorry," Emma whispers when she's done, eyes closed so she doesn't see the mess she's just made. "I'm sorry. I'll clean it up."

"Don't worry about it, _querida_ ," Regina says with a heavy sigh. "How about a bath? Let's just make it upstairs and you can clean up."

"Okay," Emma says as she clings to Regina. "Okay."

* * *

When Emma wakes up, she groans at the sunlight that manages to get past the curtains and turns her face into her pillow. She can feel Regina's warmth at her back and she moves slowly onto her right side. Regina's back is to her, dark hair splayed across her pillow, and Emma inches across the mattress until she can wrap an arm around Regina's waist and hold her close, press a kiss to the curve of her neck.

She feels Regina stir in her arms and smiles as Regina blinks her eyes open. "Hey, beautiful."

Regina's smile is slow as her gaze focuses on Emma. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Way too good considering how much I drank last night," Emma replies, her lips quirking upward. "Did you have something to do with that?"

"I think you felt bad enough last night. You didn't need to wake up and feel worse," Regina says as she cups her hand against Emma's cheek.

"I am sorry that you had to deal with me," Emma says quietly.

Regina shakes her head and brushes her thumb along Emma's cheekbone. "You know that you can be unhappy about this, right? You don't have to pretend with me."

Emma closes her eyes and sinks into Regina's touch, dips her head to brush her lips against Regina's shoulder. "I know. I just couldn't—I just had to get away. And running off with Neal to the Rabbit Hole felt like a better idea than taking off completely."

"Maybe it's not such a bad idea," Regina murmurs.

Emma frowns and says, "What do you mean?"

"Getting away," Regina replies. "At least for a little while."

"Maybe," Emma says.

She smiles even as tears gather in her eyes, and Regina gathers her close, arms strong and safe as Emma cries.


	12. we finally got it all right

" _I will never go back_  
 _Never look back anymore_  
 _And it feels like my life led right to your side_  
 _And will keep me there from now on_ "

\- "I Can Do Better Than That" from _The Last Five Years_

" _We are not perfect_  
 _We'll learn from our mistakes_  
 _And as long as it takes_  
 _I will prove my love to you_

 _I am not scared of the elements_  
 _I am under-prepared, but I am willing_  
 _And even better_  
 _I get to be the other half of you_ "

\- "I Choose You" by Sara Bareilles

* * *

 **Year One**

When Regina opens her eyes and shifts in her bed, she smiles at the sight of Emma sprawled out beside her. It looks like it's still decently early in the morning from the light filtering in through the curtains, so Regina simply rolls onto her side and walks her fingers down Emma's arm. Emma stirs a little and Regina backs off; she waits several seconds then moves back in to press a kiss to Emma's shoulder and trace the line of her neck down to her collarbone.

"Mmm, what time is it?" Emma asks without opening her eyes, voice sleepy and slow.

Regina cranes her neck to look at her alarm clock. "Just a little past seven. You can sleep a little longer if you want."

"Can't. I'm awake now," Emma says, flinging an arm over her eyes. She tugs at Regina's shoulder with her right hand. "C'mere."

Regina squirms closer to Emma and tucks her head under Emma's chin. She smiles into the curve of Emma's neck when Emma presses a kiss to the top of her head. She's deliciously sore from the night before, and even though she doesn't want to think about the disastrous dinner that had happened before those enjoyable events, they can't ignore it forever.

"Have you heard from your parents?" Regina asks quietly as she cranes her neck to see Emma's face.

Emma frowns and shrugs. "I'll have to check my phone. Which is currently in my pants."

It's an easy enough task to pull the phone into her hand with magic, and Regina barely has to glance at the screen to see that Emma has received several texts from her parents. Emma rolls her eyes as Regina presents the phone to her, but Emma takes it and settles back against her pillows. While Emma scans through her messages, Regina sits up and stretches a little; she needs to shower but with Emma here in her bed, with her sweet soft skin and messy blonde hair and the sheet slipping low off her hips, it feels almost impossible. Emma tosses her phone aside and props her body up on her elbows with a soft grunt.

"Do you need to go?" Regina says, leaning over and kissing Emma's bent knee through the sheets.

"Not yet." Emma's lips curve into a smile as she pushes up onto her hands and scoots closer to Regina. "They can wait a little longer."

Regina bites the inside of her cheek and looks down. She watches Emma's right hand reach over and cover her own, fingers spreading and wrapping loosely around her wrist. She lifts her head and Emma is right there, soft pale rose lips and bright clear eyes, and Emma kisses her, mouth lazy and sweet and careful. Regina smiles against her mouth and pulls back, trying not to enjoy Emma's disappointed groan too much.

"I need to shower," Regina murmurs, leaning back in and briefly presses her lips to Emma's. "Come with me."

There's a sharp intake of breath and then Emma is up and pulling her closer and closer, the two of them kissing in between bursts of laughter as they stumble their way into the bathroom.

* * *

Regina looks up from the pancakes she's cooking when Henry wanders into the kitchen still rubbing at his eyes sleepily.

"Good morning, _mijo_ ," Regina says with a wide smile, taking in the way Henry's pajama pants are above his ankles already; she'll need to take him to get new clothes soon.

"Morning, Mom," he replies, yawning as he shuffles around the island and to the fridge, pulling out a carton of orange juice. "Where's Ma?"

"She'll be down soon," Regina says as she flips the pancakes and turns to peer inside the oven to check on the bacon. "Hopefully by the time breakfast is ready."

Henry just nods and sips his orange juice. She moves the finished pancakes to the plate where she has the rest stacked and moves the griddle to the back of the stove as she turns it off. Sliding the overloaded plate of pancakes onto the island, she grabs an oven mitt and pulls the bacon from the oven. She puts the pan down on the stove and gets a pair of tongs from a nearby drawer. As she's moving the strips of bacon to a plate, Emma appears in the kitchen.

"This smells good," Emma says as she leans on the island beside Henry, ruffling his uncombed hair. "You need any help?"

"No, I've got it," Regina tells her. "Henry, will you take the pancakes to the dining room?"

He responds immediately, his eyes a little brighter at the prospect of food, and Emma moves around the island to stand beside Regina as Henry leaves the kitchen.

"How did it go?" Regina asks as she grabs the last piece of bacon and puts the tongs aside.

Emma shrugs. "They want me to come back home to talk. I told them that I was having breakfast with you and the kid."

"And?"

"I'll have to go after we eat." Emma places a hand at the small of her back and leans her head on Regina's shoulder. "I don't want to, but I don't want to make things worse between them and you."

"Emma, I'm not concerned about what your parents think of me," Regina says as she puts the plate in her hands to the side and reaches up to cup Emma's face. "The important thing is that I don't come between you and your parents."

"It matters to _me_ that they accept that you're a part of my life." Emma blushes a little and says softly, "A big part."

Regina leans up and brushes her lips against Emma's. Emma grins and reaches up to cover Regina's wrists with her fingers as she kisses Regina again.

"Are you guys coming or not?" Henry asks loudly, and Regina starts away from Emma, blushing as she glances in the direction of the dining room.

"Yeah, kid," Emma calls back as she rolls her eyes. "You'd better not have eaten all the pancakes."

Regina grabs the plate of bacon and follows after Emma to the dining room.

* * *

She stands outside the door to the mayor's office debating whether or not to knock. Kathryn might have asked her to come here, but Regina isn't sure that seeing her again is the best idea. Then the door is pulled open and Kathryn stands in the entrance looking out at her curiously.

"Do you want to come in, Regina?" Kathryn asks, stepping back and to the side to make room for her.

Regina hesitates. "I don't know. This might not be a good idea."

Kathryn shakes her head and says, "Regina, I asked you here. I'll admit that I was worried that you wouldn't agree or wouldn't show up, but you're here. You might as well come in to talk to me."

Taking a deep breath, Regina walks into the office and looks around. Kathryn hasn't changed much beyond putting a few framed photographs on the wall; even though it feels familiar, she feels out of place and waits for Kathryn's direction about where to sit. Kathryn settles on a couch and motions for Regina to join her.

As Regina sits down, Kathryn says, "I'll admit that I may have tricked you a little. I do have some questions about official matters for you, but I really want to talk to you about our friendship, and I didn't think you would agree to that."

Regina rests her hands on her knees and meets Kathryn's gaze. "What do you want from me, Kathryn?"

Kathryn looks at her for a long time, blue eyes hard and unreadable before she gives Regina a rueful smile and looks away. "I don't actually want anything from you. Well, that's not exactly true. I want to be your friend, Regina. That's all. If you want."

"But, why?" Regina asks in a soft voice. "I almost had you murdered for my revenge on Snow. And even though you lived, you were still kidnapped. I was cruel to you when you had been nothing but kind to me."

"That's all true," Kathryn says as she shifts a little closer on the couch to Regina. "And I was angry with you for a very long time for it. But I've seen you change. In spite of everything, and perhaps in spite of your intentions, my life is better here in Storybrooke than it ever was in the Enchanted Forest."

Regina swallows and shakes her head. "Kathryn, you can't mean—"

"I kept the name your curse gave me," Kathryn murmurs. She reaches over and takes Regina's hand in her own.

Closing her eyes, Regina pulls free from Kathryn's grasp and blinks back the tears gathering in her eyes as she asks quietly, "You're sure?"

"Yes." Kathryn has a wide smile on her face when Regina opens her eyes and looks at her.

Regina smiles back.

* * *

"I think I should move out of my parents' house," Emma says one night after they've gone up to bed.

Regina pulls the covers back and settles on the bed, patting the space beside her for Emma to sit. "What brought on this decision?"

Emma shrugs as she plops down beside Regina. "It just feels like a good idea with everything. Nothing big has happened since we got back, and it's just kind of weird living with them. I mean, not as weird as it was when we were all in Mary Margaret's old apartment, but still. It feels like it's time."

"Have you told them about this?" Regina asks.

"What do you think?" Emma replies, grimacing and looking away. "I don't want them to think that I'm running out on them. I just need some, I don't know, space. It just feels so impossible to talk to them about anything now."

Regina puts her hand on Emma's thigh and gives it a soft squeeze as she says, "I'm sorry. I know that this has been hard for you."

Emma rolls her eyes and covers Regina's hand with her own. "I wish you would stop apologizing for my parents acting like shits. None of this is your fault."

"But I haven't made it any easier for you."

"You have." Emma smiles and pulls Regina's hand up to her mouth, kisses the tips of Regina's fingers softly. "You've been amazing, Regina. I don't think you know how much."

Regina traces her fingers over Emma's mouth, curls her hand into a soft fist and brushes her knuckles against Emma's cheek. "You deserve to be happy, _mi cielo_."

Emma leans over and kisses her. "I am," she murmurs against Regina's mouth, then smiling, she kisses her again.

* * *

When Regina opens her front door to find Snow on her porch, she realizes that she should have been expecting this. In fact, it's probably most surprising that she hasn't heard from Snow before now.

"To what do I owe the honor of your presence, Snow?" Regina asks as she stands in the doorway.

"Can I come inside?" Snow asks as she twists her hands together.

Regina considers denying her for a moment, but going out of her way to be rude won't do Emma any good. Sighing, Regina steps back and motions for Snow to enter the house. Snow looks around as Regina closes the door, and she makes her way back to the kitchen, hoping that Snow will be on the ball enough to simply follow after her. She does notice the dirt on Snow's shoes and considers requesting that Snow remove them since Regina did just mop the kitchen that morning, but she decides against it.

"I assume you're here about something," Regina starts as she goes to the dishwasher and continues unloading it.

Snow sighs and says, "Emma told us that she's moving out. Did you know that?"

Regina focuses on the glasses in her hand and nods. "Yes. I talked about it with her."

"And?"

"And she wants to move out of your house." Regina purses her lips then says, "What exactly do you want me to say, Snow?"

Snow doesn't hold her gaze for long, eyes dropping to the floor, and Regina shrugs, closing the dishwasher and leaning her weight against the counter, arms crossed over her chest. She's never enjoyed playing this game with Snow.

Finally, Snow looks up, cheeks red, and she says, "Why are you trying to take my daughter away from me?"

Regina stares at her for a few moments, then she laughs. "You think I'm trying to take Emma away from you?"

"Aren't you?" Snow narrows her eyes. "She didn't have a problem with us until you came along and, and…seduced her!"

Regina wonders for a brief second how much damage it would do if she magically threw Snow from the house, but she takes a deep breath and says, "Snow, I'm not trying to hurt your relationship with Emma. I care about her very deeply and I want her to be happy. That includes having you as a part of her life."

"Then why does she act like she hates me so much?" Snow cries, tears starting to stream down her cheeks. "She doesn't want to spend time with me anymore. And I can't figure out why!"

"Have you ever considered that your relationship with Emma has changed?" Regina asks quietly. "And now that there isn't some big catastrophe around the corner, both of you are trying to adjust. You went from being her best friend to being her mother, and Emma hasn't had the time to process what that means to her yet."

Snow sniffles and says, "How hard can that be? I'm her _mother_."

Regina sighs, digging her nails into the fabric of her shirt. "I can't solve this for you, Snow. You're right. Emma's your daughter. So talk to her. And listen to her when she talks back. It'll take time but you'll get there."

"Are you sure?" Snow asks, her eyes red.

"Yes," Regina replies immediately, pasting a smile on her face.

"Okay." Snow returns her smile happily and wipes the remaining tears from her face. "Thank you. I'll be on my way, then."

Regina gives her a terse nod and follows behind Snow, sees her out the door and down the walk. Once Snow is gone, Regina closes the door and leans heavily against it, trembling, magic flowing into her hands and begging for release. She curls her hands into fists and lets out one quiet sob, her forehead pressed against the wood, before she pushes the magic back and straightens. Pushing her hair back from her face, Regina goes back to the kitchen. She has to make dinner.

* * *

Tamara looks up from the paper spread out in front of her and says, "I'm probably going to have to go soon. I have the night shift and I don't think Mulan will appreciate it if I can't stay awake."

Regina nods and scribbles a notation in the margin of her diagram. "All right. Do you want to take some food with you? I have a lot of leftover braciole from the other night."

Tamara grins and stretches her arms over her head. "Yes. God, I'm so jealous of Emma getting to eat your food every day."

"If you came over more, you could have it, too," Regina says with a light laugh.

"I know." Tamara sits back in her chair and says, "I get too caught up in work sometimes, so I forget."

"We've talked about that, Tamara," Regina says, rolling her eyes. "You have to take care of yourself first."

There's a knock on the study door, and Regina turns, calling, "Come in."

Henry bounds in and kisses her cheek, grinning at Tamara. "Hi, Mom. Hey, Tamara."

"Did you have a good day at school, _mijo_?" Regina asks as she smiles up at Henry.

He shrugs. "It was fine. I have a lot of homework, though."

"Do you need any help with it?" Regina says as she starts to stand up.

"No, I can handle it," he replies. He nods to Tamara and starts for the door; he pauses and turns back, saying, "Grandma tried to talk to me about you after school."

Regina clenches her jaw and says, "What did she have to say?"

Henry glances in Tamara's direction and shakes his head. "It's not really that important."

"Henry, of course it is if she—" Regina stops and tries for a smile. "We'll talk about this later, okay?"

"Okay, Mom," he replies slowly. A grin spreads back across his face and he waves goodbye to Tamara as he leaves the room.

Sighing, Regina stares down at the mess of paper on her desk and breathes deeply.

Tamara clears her throat after a minute of silence and says, "I think maybe we can call it a day with this stuff."

Regina looks up sharply then relaxes her shoulders at the sight of Tamara's concerned face. "I think you're right. Will you be free this weekend to go out to the town line and inspect it some more?"

"I should have a few spare hours," Tamara says as she stands up and starts organizing her papers.

"We can arrange the details later, then," Regina says. She takes the stack of papers Tamara holds out to her and says, "Oh, and don't forget to get some of that braciole out of the fridge."

Bending over, Tamara grabs her knapsack from where she had left it earlier and slings it over her shoulder, saying as she heads for the door, "Thanks, I will. So I'll text you about this weekend? The schedule at the station isn't done yet so I don't know if I'll have to work."

"You do know that I'm dating the sheriff, right?" Regina replies, relaxing back into her chair. "If I want you to have time off, I can make that happen."

Tamara laughs. "I wouldn't dream of asking you to exert your influence over my boss for my benefit. But if you want…"

Chuckling, Regina shakes her head and says, "I'll keep that in mind."

Tamara waves goodbye and leaves the room. Regina looks down at her diagrams again, thinks of Snow approaching Henry at school; her head pounds a little and she closes her eyes.

* * *

As Henry picks at his salad, Emma glances at her with raised eyebrows. Regina turns her attention to Henry and clears her throat.

"Henry, you mentioned that your grandmother spoke to you after school?" Regina asks as she spears a cucumber on her fork.

Henry's head shoots up and he looks between her and Emma before he says, "Yeah. But it's not a big deal. She just sort of asked about you and Ma."

Emma has a tight grip on her fork like she's about to stab someone with it as she says, "What exactly did she ask, kid?"

"If I liked the two of you together. If maybe I wanted to spend more time with her and Grandpa to give you some space." He shrugs and pokes a cherry tomato with his fork. "I mean, it was kind of weird? Like she wanted me to be unhappy that my moms are together. But I don't think I'd mind if I got to spend a weekend or two with her and Grandpa."

Regina can see Emma's clenched jaw and reaches over quickly to place a gentle hand on Emma's left wrist, thumb circling around and pressing against her pulse point. "Of course you can spend more time with your grandparents, _mijo_. You just have to tell us."

"Yeah, kid." Emma grins at him and says, "That's not a big deal."

Henry nods and takes a bite of his salad. Regina feels some of the tenseness slip from Emma's arm so she pulls her hand back and picks her fork back up.

Swallowing, Henry says, "I guess. But I'd feel kind of weird about it now. I don't want her to think that she's right about me not being happy."

"That's not your concern," Regina says immediately. She smiles at Henry and reaches out her left hand to him, waits for him to take it before continuing, "You're our son. It's not your job to worry about our disagreements with your grandparents or the other way around. As long as you enjoy spending time with them and want to do so, you should."

Emma nods. "She's right, Henry. All of this crap isn't your problem."

Henry looks first at Emma then at her; he says quietly, "Okay. So, do you think we can go to Granny's for milkshakes after dinner?"

"Eat your salad and then we'll consider it," Regina replies, spearing a piece of spinach on the end of her fork.

* * *

She hears the front door open as she's washing the dishes she used for her lunch. She considers going out to greet Emma but decides against it; Emma can figure out where she is. She smiles a little to herself when Emma's footsteps sound on the tile of the kitchen floor, but she stays where she is at the sink, rinsing off a plate as Emma wraps arms around her waist.

"Hey," Emma murmurs, kissing Regina's neck. "You busy?"

Regina hums and puts the plate in her hands in the drying rack. "Not at the moment. Though I thought you were spending your lunch break looking at apartments."

"Yeah, I thought about doing that. But then I thought about you, here—" Emma presses her mouth to the slope of Regina's neck and nips it, thrusting her hips slightly against Regina's ass. "Alone."

"What exactly do you think is going to happen here, then?" Regina asks, voice a little breathy already, and she grinds back against Emma as she strips off her kitchen gloves.

"Mmm, well, there are so many possibilities. A whole hour," Emma replies as her hands move to Regina's hips and start to unfasten her slacks. "I could do so many things to you. What do you want me to do?"

"Touch me," Regina hisses as Emma's fingers slip inside her underwear and cup her gently. Regina rocks her hips and gasps when Emma's fingers brush against her clit. "Just touch me."

"You're wet already," Emma says quietly. She circles her fingers lightly then pulls them back; she chuckles and pushes Regina's slacks down over her hips. "And I'll touch you, babe. Promise. Make you come so hard that you scream my name."

Biting back a moan, Regina grips the edge of the counter as Emma finished sliding her pants to the floor and runs warm hands up Regina's thighs, pushing them a little further apart. She shivers as Emma bites along the curve of her ass.

"Bend forward over the sink," Emma tells her.

Regina swallows and shifts her weight until she's almost on her toes, readjusting her grip to keep from losing her balance as Emma strokes up and down her legs. Then, Emma's mouth is on her, and Regina lets her head fall forward.

* * *

She doesn't like to admit it, but she does enjoy the nights Emma has to work. Not as much as when Emma is home with them, but she can't help relishing the time it gives her alone with Henry. Looking up from the scattered puzzle pieces in front of her, Regina watches Henry as he tries to fit a piece in place, eyebrows furrowed and mouth turned down in concentration.

"Henry, I have something I need to talk with you about," she says, a little hesitant, tapping her right forefinger against a puzzle piece.

He glances up at her and says, "Sure, Mom, what is it? Is it something bad?"

She shakes her head and smiles. "No. I don't think so anyway."

"Then what is it?"

He looks at with her expectant eyes, and she swallows against the tightness of her throat as she searches for the right words. It had seemed so simple an idea but making it a reality—she reaches across the table to him and he grabs on to her hand.

"I've been thinking ever since Emma started looking for apartments that, maybe, we could ask her to move in with us," Regina says slowly, keeping her focus on Henry.

His eyes widen as he echoes, "Move in with us?"

"If you want," Regina replies in a rush of breath, still holding tight to his hand. "I don't want you to feel pressured to say yes just because she's your mother, too, or—"

"That's a great idea, Mom!" he jumps in, his grin wide and brilliant. "How are you going to do it? Maybe it can be an operation?"

She smiles. "You're sure? This is something you want?"

"Yeah, Mom, of course." He squeezes her hand. "But I don't want you to do something like that just for me."

"Oh, _mijo_ ," she murmurs, blinking back tears. "I promise, I want this, too."

He lets go of her hand as he stands up and walks around the table to her; he bends over to give her an awkward hug as he says, "Good. It's important that you're happy, too, Mom."

She rubs his back and breathes, then presses a kiss to the side of his head as she lets him go. He settles into the chair beside her and pulls out his phone.

"If we're going to pull off an operation, then we need to start planning now," he says as he opens an app and starts tapping on his keyboard. "What do you think we should call it?"

* * *

She has to wait for the signal from Henry. In all honesty, Operation Duck isn't complicated, the trickiest part was where she had to visit the hardware store to get a copy of her house key made for Emma without anyone seeing her and then telling Emma about it. At the moment, she's trying to focus on chopping up the sweet chili peppers that will be going into the _asopao de pollo_ she's making for their dinner while Emma watches and munches on the white grapes she pilfered from Regina's fridge.

"So, the kid wants to spend the weekend with my parents?" Emma asks as she pops another grape into her mouth.

Regina nods and deposits the peppers into her food processor. "Yes. Well, only Saturday. I don't think he feels comfortable spending the night with them yet after some of the things they've said."

"Yeah," Emma sighs. "They're getting a little better about it, though. Finally."

Giving her a small smile in response, Regina turns on the food processor and waits for the ingredients inside to turn into a puree before switching it off and setting it aside for a few minutes. Henry should be done wrapping the box she'd put the key in soon.

"I am glad that I'm no longer a continual source of conflict between you and your parents," Regina says as she walks over to island and takes a few grapes to munch on.

Emma smiles and moves around the island, wrapping an arm around Regina's waist as she says, "Now I just have to get out of there so they'll stop giving me weird looks because I only go home to change clothes now."

Henry shows up in the kitchen entrance at that moment, and Regina presses a kiss to Emma's cheek, saying, "We actually want to talk to you about that, Emma."

"Oh?" Emma looks from her to Henry. "What's up?"

Grinning, Henry just slides the small box wrapped in gold paper across the counter to Emma. Emma frowns as she picks it up and starts pulling the paper off; she looks at both Regina and Henry again before she opens the box.

When Emma just stares at the contents mutely for over a minute, Henry asks, "Ma, is something wrong?"

Emma starts and glances up, bright eyes wet as she says, "Is this—are you asking me to move in with you?"

Regina nods, and then Emma smiles and pulls Regina to her.

"Yes," Emma murmurs against her hair. "God, yes."

Regina holds tight to her, smiling so hard that her cheeks hurt, and Emma is pulling Henry into a hug with them and kissing the top of his head then kissing her. Henry makes a small sound of disgust when Regina tilts her chin up and presses her mouth more firmly against Emma's, and Emma responds by tickling underneath Henry's arm, laughing as he yelps. Stepping back, Regina watches Henry run a little away from Emma before Emma sweeps him up in her arms and whirls him around. It feels right; it feels good. It feels like happiness.


	13. you're a coward 'til the end

" _Hold on, clip these wings -_  
 _Things get out of hand_  
 _All right, it's over, it's done_  
 _No one will understand_ "

\- "Nobody Needs to Know" from _The Last Five Years_

" _You're too proud to say that you've made a mistake_  
 _You're a coward 'til the end_  
 _I don't wanna admit that we're not gonna fit_ "

\- "Lies" by Marina and the Diamonds

* * *

 **Year Five**

Emma sighs when Ruby slides onto the stool next to her. "I'm not really in the mood to hang out with anyone tonight, Ruby."

"Okay," Ruby says slowly as she motions to the bartender. "I'll just get my drink and go, if that's what you want. Or I could stay and you could tell me what's bothering you. Your choice."

"You're not actually going to leave me alone, are you?" Emma asks. She glances over and rolls her eyes when she sees Ruby's smirk. "Okay, fine. I kind of had a fight with Regina."

"Didn't she have that debate tonight?" Ruby asks as the bartender slides a beer in front of her.

"Yeah, that's kind of what the fight was about," Emma mutters. She shrugs her shoulders and stares down at her rum and Coke. "I forgot that was tonight and never actually showed up."

Ruby lets out a low whistle. "Ouch. And now she's pissed at you."

Emma nods. "Basically. I probably shouldn't even be here. Should probably go home and try to make things right."

"Maybe. But maybe you both just need some time to cool off," Ruby says as she traces a long finger down her glass.

Emma fiddles with her wedding ring, slipping it off her finger as she says, "Yeah, maybe. I just don't know what to do anymore."

"Are you still happy with her?"

" _Yes_ ," Emma breathes out, the answer immediate, easy. But she frowns as she looks back at her ring. "At least, I think so. I just thought it would be easier. Or, maybe not _easier_ but—better."

"It could just be a rough patch, Emma," Ruby says quietly, eyes kind as she takes Emma's hand. "I'm sure that the two of you can work everything out. You always have before."

"Yeah." Emma smiles a little and slips her hand from Ruby's grasp. "It's just that in between my mom getting pregnant and all of this—I don't know. It's just a fight. That's all."

She gulps down the rest of her drink and motions to the bartender for another one. She glances over at Ruby's half-finished beer and says, "Come on, keep up."

Ruby grins, teeth flashing as she raises her glass and clinks it against Emma's.

* * *

Emma opens her eyes slowly and groans when the light hits her eyes and pain lances through her head. She burrows deeper in the sheets. It takes her a moment, but she realizes the sheets aren't nearly as nice as what Regina would put on their bed, and she is not in her bed at home. She bites down on her fist as she remembers the previous night, remembers following Ruby home, kissing her, and, and—

"Fuck," Emma spits out as she sits upright and buries her head in her hands. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck_."

"Yeah, basically," Ruby says weakly says from where she's standing across the room.

Emma looks up and winces as her head starts throbbing, asking, "What the hell did we do? Ruby, I'm _married_. What the hell did we do?"

"We fucked up," Ruby says, voice so soft, legs trembling as she walks over to the bed and collapses onto it. "I'm so sorry, Emma. I can't believe—what are we going to do?"

"I have to get home," Emma says as she gets up and starts moving around the room to get her clothes. "I have to go home to Regina and, and—I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Are you going to tell her about last night?" Ruby asks as she curls into a small ball and turns her face away from Emma.

"I don't know," Emma replies as she jams her feet into her shoes and heads for the door. "But I have to go."

* * *

"Say something. Please." Emma curls her hands around the hem of her shirt and looks down at the floor.

"I don't—" Regina breaks off and swallows. Her voice is soft when she says, "I don't understand. I can't even begin to—I don't…"

"I'm sorry," Emma whispers as she looks back at Regina. "I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry."

Regina nods and presses her fingers to her lips. Emma stands there and waits, presses her thumb to her wedding ring.

"You slept with her," Regina says, the words sounding more like an accusation than when she had echoed them earlier.

"Yeah," Emma replies as her shoulders slump. "Yeah."

Regina takes a breath then says, "I want you to leave."

Closing her eyes, Emma fights the urge to plead with her and simply nods her head shortly before bolting to the door.

* * *

Henry won't look at her when she comes back later for a suitcase. Regina isn't anywhere to be found, but Emma doubts she's that far away, not when Henry is still crying like he had when Emma told him the truth. She shoves clothes into her suitcase without looking at what she's grabbing, her only priority to get as much as she can out in the smallest amount of time possible. Her throat aches as she works, as she tries not to pay attention to the bedroom, Regina's shoes spilling out of the closet, her scent that lingers in the air.

Once the suitcase is so full that she can barely zip it closed, Emma closes it and drags it into the hallway. Henry is still standing there, his eyes dark as he watches her.

"I'm so sorry, Henry," Emma says as she grips the handle of her suitcase so tight that her palm burns. "I'm sorry."

He turns away and goes into his bedroom, slamming the door. Sighing, Emma stays rooted to that spot, closes her eyes, breathes in, tries to hold everything close. The tears start as she stands there. She chokes on her sobs as she pulls the suitcase along behind her and stumbles out of the house.


	14. to fall, to fall (at your feet)

" _Goodbye until tomorrow_  
 _Goodbye till I recall how to breathe_  
 _And I have been waiting_  
 _I have been waiting for you_

 _I stand on a precipice_  
 _I struggle to keep my balance_  
 _I open myself_  
 _I open myself one stitch at a time_ "

\- "Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You" from _The Last Five Years_

" _There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep_  
 _Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks_  
 _Then it walks, then it walks with my legs_  
 _To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet_

 _There but for the grace of God go I_  
 _And when you kiss me, I am happy enough to die_ "

\- "I'm Not Calling You a Liar" by Florence + the Machine

* * *

 **Year One**

When they file off the boat, Regina starts to feel like she can breathe easier. Henry shuffles along beside her, clinging to her hand like he hasn't since he was small, eyes squinting in the sunlight, Emma on his other side. Henry looks up at her and grins; she smiles back and pauses to brush his bangs out of his eyes.

Emma catches her eye and gives her a small smile. "So, I guess we made it back."

"We did," Regina agrees, squeezing Henry's hand as she smiles back at Emma.

Henry leans into her and asks, "Can we go home now?"

"Sure, kid," Emma says as she looks back at Regina. "I guess I'll see you two later?"

Regina blinks. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you're taking him home and I'm going with my parents back to their place to shower and sleep forever," Emma replies slowly, frowning.

Regina just stands there looking at her, takes in the way Emma is still holding tight to Henry's hand, thinks about how impossible it is to let go of him now.

"Why don't you come with us?" Regina says.

Emma raises her eyebrows. "Are you sure?"

Regina shrugs and says, "Yes. I have plenty of room for everyone."

"Yeah, come home with us," Henry says, tugging on Emma's hand. "Let's go."

"Okay," Emma says quietly as she looks from Henry to Regina, eyes shining.

Regina nods, throat tight as she leads Henry away, Emma in tow.

* * *

After a blissfully long shower in which she uses all of the hot water, replenishes it with her magic, and uses it all up again, Regina goes back to Henry's room to check on him. She had left him with Emma so she could get her turn in the bathroom, but she can't quite bear the idea of going to bed without seeing him one more time to make sure that he really is here, that he's safe and sound.

She eases his bedroom door open and slips inside the dark room. She takes one step towards his bed and trips over Emma's sprawled legs; she manages to steady herself on the wall and looks down to see Emma sitting with her back against the wall.

"Sorry," Emma whispers as she tilts her head up.

Regina waves her hand and looks in the direction of the bed, watches as Henry's chest moves slowly up and down with each breath. She smiles a little and the tension bleeds out of her shoulders.

There's a tug on her pajama pants, and Regina glances back down at Emma and hisses, "What?"

"Sit with me?" Emma asks as she pats the floor beside her.

Regina stays still for a moment, longing for her bed after over a week of sleeping on the ground, but Henry is in this room. She shuffles a little to the side and settles on the floor beside Emma with a soft groan as her muscles protest every movement. Emma chuckles and leans her head back against the wall. Regina grimaces and stretches her legs out in front of her.

"You didn't like the offer of the guest room?" Regina asks.

"I appreciated it but I realized after you left to get your shower that I wouldn't be able to sleep in there. Not since—" Emma stops and looks away.

Regina reaches over and puts her hand on Emma's knee. "I know. It's why I came back in here."

She catches the hint of a smile on Emma's face. She can feel the warmth of Emma's skin through the thin fabric of her pajama pants; she should move her hand, but she can't quite bring herself to do it. Then Emma covers Regina's hand with her own, and Regina flushes in the dark.

"Henry decided that he wants to call me 'Ma'," Emma says softly as she brushes her thumb along the back of Regina's hand.

Regina's breath catches in her throat; she manages to get out, "That should cut down on any confusion in the future."

Emma looks at her as she says, "But it's okay with you?"

Regina sighs and says, "He's our son, isn't he? Don't you think he should call you something other than your name?"

"Our son?" Emma repeats, eyes wide as she leans closer to Regina.

"Our son," Regina says firmly, curling her legs up and turning towards Emma with a small smile.

* * *

Henry slides into the booth across from her and steals a fry off her plate. "So, how did it go?"

Regina shrugs and pushes her plate closer to Henry, smiling when he takes a handful of fries. "It was fine. Did you have fun with Emma and Neal?"

"We got ice cream," he replies as he shoves fries into his mouth three at a time. "Come on, Mom, this was your first date with this guy. Didn't Tink say he's your soulmate or something?"

"First of all, Tink should learn how to keep some information to herself," Regina says, rolling her eyes. "Secondly, it was only a date, Henry. It doesn't mean that anything will happen. And it certainly doesn't mean that I believe I'm fated to be with Robin."

"Oh, right, that's his name." Henry nods and wipes his hands off on a napkin. "Ma was asking about it all day."

"Oh?" Regina prompts as she folds her arms on the table.

"Yeah, she had a million questions about you and Robin and how you knew him and why you were going on a date with him," he says as he folds the napkin into a small square. "It was weird."

"Well, you don't have to worry about it because I won't be going on a second date with him," Regina says with a small sigh.

"Didn't like him?" Henry asks.

Regina shakes her head and takes a sip of her water. "No, he was nice. I just didn't feel—" She stops and laughs. "Maybe that's it. I just didn't feel anything while I was talking with him."

"Is that because there's someone else you want to be with?" Henry gives her a sly look and swipes the rest of her fries.

Regina snorts and says, "Don't be ridiculous, Henry. What would even give you that idea?"

"Oh, I don't know," he says with a shrug of his shoulders. "Is Ma still coming over for dinner?"

"As far as I know," Regina says slowly.

"Okay, then. Good." Henry grins as he finishes his stolen fries.

Regina smiles and slides out of her side of the booth. As she's putting on her jacket, Emma comes into the diner, grinning when she sees Henry. Emma waves then makes her way over while Regina stays rooted in place, trying to ignore Emma's wind-tousled hair and bright eyes and pink cheeks, the way Emma's smile brightens when she looks at Regina even though Regina knows that's because of Henry.

"Hey, glad I caught you," Emma says as she pushes her hair out of her face and shoves her hands in her back pockets. "Do you want to watch a movie after dinner tonight? I can raid my collection to find something."

"That sounds good," Henry replies before Regina can answer. He gives her a cheeky smile and says, "We haven't watched _The Mummy_ together yet. It's one of our favorites."

"Yeah?" Emma asks as she glances at Regina, and Regina manages to nod her head.

"Yeah, Mom loves it," Henry says as he pulls his coat on.

"It looks like my secret is out," Regina says, shrugging and putting a hand on Henry's shoulder as she looks at Emma. "So you'll come at your usual time?"

Emma smiles and says, "Yeah, I'll be there."

* * *

"So, how exactly does this whole town line thing work?" Tamara asks as she follows Regina around the car. "Does the memory loss affect anyone who crosses over the line? Or are you exempt? And, why do people lose their memories?"

"As far as I know, it affects everyone except for Emma, Henry, and me," Regina says as she walks up to the line. "And now you. As to why people lose their memories and revert back to their cursed selves, well—that's what we're here to try and figure out."

Tamara nods and says, "Out of curiosity, did anyone try to cross the line after the curse broke but before magic was brought into Storybrooke?"

"I don't believe so," Regina replies slowly as she glances at Tamara. "Do you think they're linked?"

"It's possible," Tamara says. She looks away. "Magic tends to act oddly in this world."

Regina presses her lips together and reaches a hand out, hissing when she presses up against the border. She pushes her magic out slowly and guides it along the border, testing the immediate area for any weak places or possible clues as to how it actually works. When she doesn't find anything, she pulses her magic. The answering backlash stings against her palm, and Regina pulls her hand away quickly, clenching her hand into a fist.

"Did something happen?" Tamara asks as she comes up behind Regina. "Are you hurt?"

"It doesn't like to be poked," Regina mutters as she flexes her hand and the burning in her skin fades. "But I could feel the curse's magic trapped in it."

"Really?" Tamara's eyes light up as she pulls out a small notepad and pencil. "You can tell the difference between certain kinds of magic? Is there anything else present? Can you describe it for me?"

"You're certainly curious," Regina says with a small laugh. "But, yes, I can tell the difference between types of magic. I don't know if I can describe it off the top of my head, though."

Tamara nods and takes down a few notes, saying, "Well, when you asked me to help you with this, we agreed that you would handle all the magic while I observe and run models and provide my knowledge about how magic tends to operate in this world. Which, I am surprised that you asked me to help you with anything."

"I don't know why," Regina replies, rocking back on her heels and crossing her arms over her stomach. "If you were going to try anything, it would have been a lot easier when you were sleeping in my guest room right after we got back. And about the rest, well—you helped us save Henry."

"After I kidnapped him," Tamara says in a soft voice. She looks away and lets out a bitter laugh. "I don't get you. At all. I help torture you, try to kill all of you, kidnap your kid, and you saved my life."

"You're painting a much kinder portrait of me than I deserve," Regina says, starting to reach out to Tamara and stopping, curling her fingers back over her palm into a loose fist and dropping her hands back to her sides. "You know what I did to Owen's father. And I've done worse. I have a much longer list of crimes than that."

"So do I," Tamara says with a small shake of her head. "You didn't deserve what I did."

Regina smiles just the slightest bit as she says, "And you didn't deserve to die. So we'll just call it even."

"I think I can do that," Tamara says, smiling in answer.

Regina tilts her head to the side and gestures towards the border. "So, shall we get back to work?"

* * *

"Mom, you're going to be late!" Henry yells up the stairs at her.

Regina rolls her eyes and doesn't budge from in front of her closet. "Stop bellowing, Henry. I still have plenty of time."

She hadn't been expecting this, not really; thinking about dating Emma Swan and having it be a reality are two completely different things, and now that Saturday night is actually here, she's stalling, hesitating, thinking maybe she should just call it off. Everything has finally settled and she shouldn't risk it. She shouldn't—

"Are you dressed yet?" When she doesn't respond, he says at a slightly softer volume, "You only have thirty minutes until you said you'd be there. Come on, you have plenty of stuff to wear."

Huffing, she grabs the grey dress she was considering and unzips it, stepping into it and sliding it up over her hips. "You were of absolutely no help earlier when I asked what you thought I should wear."

"All of your clothes look good." He's right outside her door now. "And it's not like Ma cares. Can I come in?"

She finishes zipping her dress up and says, "You can come in. I just have to put in my earrings."

He sidles into the room and plops down on her bed, watching with an amused smile as she finishes slipping in her stud earrings and flicks some hair out of her eyes. She catches his gaze in the mirror and smiles, taking in his long growing limbs, the easy way he relaxes back onto her bed and props himself up by the elbows. Another reason not to follow through, even if Henry has been incredibly insistent that this _is_ a good thing, that he's happy. She shakes her head and focuses on breathing, on the memories this brings to the surface.

"Do you remember when you were little and you would insist on sitting on my bed while I got ready for the day?" she asks, turning away from the mirror to face him.

He grimaces. "Come on, Mom, you're getting sappy on me. And I know you've been telling Ma all those embarrassing stories about me."

"And you would help me pick out my earrings and once, you even got into my make-up and had smeared my favorite lipstick all over your face before I could stop you," she says, ignoring his eye roll as she strides to the bed and sits down beside him. "You were so pleased with yourself."

"Do you ever miss it?" he asks.

"Miss what?"

"The time when I was little. Before—before everything." He looks away, his face shadowed, and she reaches out to stroke her fingers through his hair.

"I don't miss anything, _mijo_ ," she says softly, tucking her fingers under his chin and smiling when he looks at her. "You were my son then and you're my son now. There's nothing to miss. I just like to remember."

"And embarrass me," he says, his mouth turning up into a grin.

She taps her forefinger against his nose. "I suppose so. Now, are you sure you'll be all right tonight?"

"Granny's already waiting downstairs. I'll be fine. She's going to help me get past that really hard level in Batman before we go to the diner for dinner." He gets to his feet and turns, holding out a hand for her. When she takes it, he uses her momentum to pull her into a fierce hug. "I'm glad you're doing this. Ma really likes you."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. Do you like her?"

She bites her lip and tries to keep the grin off her face. "I think so. How do you feel about that?"

His eyes are soft, smile full of love and how did she get so lucky? "I just want you guys to be happy. So I guess as long as that happens, I'm happy, too."

He hugs her again, a brief squeeze before he jumps up off the bed and holds a hand out to her, his grip strong as he pulls her up beside him. She smooths a hand over the top of his head and then lets him race out of the room, yelling to Granny as he bolts down the stairs about his game. She takes a breath and follows him out.

* * *

Emma's fingers have just managed to unclasp Regina's bra when she hears, "Gross, Moms."

Regina jumps and pushes Emma away, twisting and tumbling back onto the couch as she wipes at her mouth and looks at Henry. Emma laughs even as she flushes and jumps off the couch. Henry rolls his eyes and grimaces as they both try to subtly readjust their clothes.

"You could at least wait until I'm out of the house," he says as he leans against the door to the study.

"To be fair, kid, we closed the door," Emma replies as she settles against the desk. "You're the one who didn't knock."

"I would have if I'd known what you were doing," Henry mutters as he looks away, his cheeks burning.

Regina sighs and pulls a pillow against her chest as she looks between Henry and Emma. "I'm sorry, Henry. We thought you were doing your homework."

"I finished," he mumbles, hunching his shoulders and refusing to meet her gaze. "I was going to see if you guys wanted to play a game or something, but, um, I'll just go back to my room and pretend that this didn't happen."

He bolts before she can say anything else. Regina slumps back against the couch as Emma pushes the door closed again and leans against it as she looks at Regina.

"So, do you think we've scarred him for life?" Emma asks with a small laugh.

Regina tries to fight the smile tugging at her lips as she says, "I don't know. If he actually saw the way you were feeling me up earlier, then I think so."

Emma quirks an eyebrow. "It's a good thing he didn't walk in any later. Because I was certainly planning on more than just copping a feel."

"Is that so?" Regina drawls as she puts the pillow to the side and licks her lips. "You're assuming that I would let you do more than that."

"Oh, I think you will," Emma replies lightly as she flips the lock on the door and strides back over to the couch, leaning over Regina and bracing her hands on the back of the couch.

Regina reaches up and presses the palm of her hand to the nape of Emma's neck, pulling her down into a kiss. Emma grins and kisses back as she pushes Regina back against the couch and settles back onto her lap.


	15. and it was your heart on the line

" _It's not about another compromise_  
 _I'm not the only one who's hurting here_  
 _I don't know what the hell is left to do_  
 _You never saw how far the crack had opened_  
 _You never knew I had run out of rope_ "

\- "Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You" from _The Last Five Years_

" _But it was not your fault but mine_  
 _And it was your heart on the line_  
 _I really fucked it up this time_  
 _Didn't I, my dear?_ "

\- "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons

* * *

 **Year Five**

"I know it's not much, but the guest bedroom is empty, and at least until you get back on your feet—Emma? Are you listening?"

Emma starts and looks over at Mary Margaret, takes in her worried eyes and downturned mouth, and she ducks her head, tries for a smile. "Yeah, yeah, I'm listening. Thanks for this. I know that this is all—it's a lot to ask without any notice but I didn't know where else to go, and—"

Mary Margaret's arms are around her in an instant and Emma stiffens on instinct. "Oh, honey, you're never a problem. You know we're happy to have you here. Even though, well, you haven't said why you need to stay with us. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Emma shrugs off Mary Margaret and picks up the suitcase she packed, trying to keep her voice steady as she says, "I have the night shift for awhile so I won't really be around."

She doesn't wait for Mary Margaret to say anything to do that before she heads to the guest bedroom, white walls and white sheets and it looks almost as sterile as a hospital, and dumps her suitcase on the bed.

* * *

She checks her text messages again to see if she's missed anything from Henry. Nothing and going on two weeks now. Sighing, she tosses her phone onto the nightstand and winds her way through the boxes of her stuff on the floor to the bathroom. To the tiny, tiny bathroom with shitty water pressure but at least she doesn't have to share with her parents. And if she times it right, she can manage to get out of the shower and to work with some leftovers without running into Mary Margaret at all.

The hot water takes at least five minutes to warm up properly, so Emma turns it on and grabs a towel from the cabinet below the sink. She picks at a loose thread on her shirt and once the mirror starts to fog up a little, she adjusts the water temperature and strips, making sure to toss her clothes to the far right of the toilet because some water always manages to escape the shower and she learned the hard way after her clothes got soaked a few times. Stepping into the shower, she pulls the glass door shut and relaxes under the stream of hot water that is just shy of scalding. She's just starting to reach for her shampoo when the door flies open and David rushes in.

"What the hell?" Emma freezes, uncertain of what exactly she should do even as her brain screams at her to cover the hell up because that's her _dad_.

David blanches and turns around. "Oh my God, I didn't know you were in here?"

"You didn't hear the shower? Or think to knock on the closed door?" Emma yells. She hits the wall with the palm of her left hand and lets out a scream of frustration. "Get the fuck out!"

He hunches his shoulders and darts out of the bathroom. Emma hits the wall again and squeezes her eyes shut against the tears rising in her eyes because she's not supposed to be here, she had a home and a bathroom with a lock that she never had to worry about parents bursting into and now, and now—

* * *

Emma slides onto a stool in front of the diner counter and leans on her elbows. The diner is busier than normal, so Emma fiddles with the napkin dispenser in front of her while she waits for Ruby to come by and take her order.

Except that Ruby ignores her as five new people come in the door and take a booth. She serves them fucking coffee even though Emma knows Ruby sees her. So Emma moves to the stool right in front of the cash register and taps her fingers on the counter until finally, one of the dwarfs, Happy or Sleepy or whatever, shuffles up to the register to pay for his food. Once he's gone and Ruby starts to turn to grab a fresh pot of coffee, Emma coughs loudly.

"Are you just going to ignore me?" Emma asks, raising her eyebrows.

Ruby shrugs and frowns as she reaches behind her for the coffee pot. "Sorry. I just don't know exactly how to act after—well, it just feels weird."

"Yeah." Emma sighs and takes the cup of coffee that Ruby holds out to her. "Sorry. I don't know what to do, either."

"So, I heard you're back with your parents?" Ruby says as she leans on the counter. "How is that going?"

Shaking her head, Emma takes a small sip of coffee. "It's awful. But I'll deal with it. It's not like I have any room to complain."

"Maybe not," Ruby says softly. "But I hate seeing you so unhappy."

"I'll live," Emma whispers as she gives Ruby a tight smile. "Thanks for the coffee."

She gives Ruby some money and slides off the stool. Ruby gives her a small nod and turns away from the counter. Sighing, Emma shoves her hands into her pockets and heads out into the sunlight.

* * *

The second Emma's phone rings and _home_ flashes on the screen (because she can't change it yet, it's still home and maybe it always will be even though there's an empty space inside her heart when she lies awake at night alone), Emma pounces on it, answers with a breathless, "Hey."

There's a pause, a sigh, but then Regina whispers, "Hey."

"Um, is something wrong? Like, with Henry? I just—do you need something?" Emma can't stop fumbling over every word because talking to Regina used to be the easiest thing in the world and now everything she might say is a potential bomb.

"No, something isn't wrong. Not exactly," Regina says, and Emma can't help it, she lets her mind drift to where Regina is, if she's sprawled on the bed or curled up on the couch in the study, if she's wearing one of Emma's old t-shirts or a matching pajama set, if her hair is damp from the shower, if she has a hand wrapped around a drink. All the small details of Regina brushing up against her life then settling there until it's a shock to open her eyes and not see any of that anymore.

Emma swallows and rolls onto her back, clenching her bedspread in her free hand. "Then what is it?"

"Our custody agreement. Henry is refusing to spend time with you."

She squeezes her eyes shut and says, "Really? It's been—it's been a month, Regina."

"I know," and her voice aches through the phone, the words a hiss, a reminder. "I don't want for Henry to feel torn between the two of us. It's not fair to him."

"So what should I do?" Emma asks.

There's a sigh and then Regina says, "I don't know if you can do anything. But I think that Henry isolating himself from you won't help him in the long run."

"Which means?"

"That Henry will be staying with you on the weekends as we agreed."

"The kid won't like that," Emma points out. "And I don't know if forcing him to do something he doesn't want to is such a good idea."

"You know better than anyone how stubborn he can be," Regina replies. "The sooner we establish and reinforce a routine, the sooner he can start feeling like his home life is at least stable, if not what he wants. It's what's best for him."

Emma frowns. "And you just decided that? Without even asking me?"

"I don't know if you've noticed but we're not exactly a team anymore, are we? You saw to that personally."

Emma spreads her fingers out on her bedspread and tries to breathe. "We promised that this wouldn't affect Henry. We promised, Regina."

"I know." She sounds so sad, her voice thick like she's talking through tears now. "But we promised so much and look at us now. I don't know—I don't know how to do this, Emma."

"I don't, either. I just—I'm sorry." Emma's voice cracks and she wipes away the tears on her cheeks.

"I know." And she's soft and wistful and sad and Emma just wants to be able to reach out and touch her. "But that doesn't make it any better. It doesn't change anything."

"I know." She does and it hurts. "I know. I still—"

" _Don't_. Please, just, don't."

"Okay." Emma breathes in. "Okay. So, do you want me to just pick Henry up after school on Friday?"

"If that will work best for you."

"Yeah, I think so. Tell the kid hello for me?"

There's a pause, then Regina murmurs, "I will."

"Okay." Emma smiles just the slightest bit. "Okay."

"Well, have a good night."

Emma winces but she grits her teeth, pretends that this is nothing. "Yeah, you, too."

She hangs up and it's quiet and she's alone again.

* * *

"Do you want to go to Granny's for dinner?" Emma asks as she surveys the contents of the fridge, pushing some chicken casserole a little closer to the back in the hopes that no one will pull it out to have again. "Or I can make some pasta? What do you feel like having?"

She doesn't get an answer and after waiting and counting to ten, Emma turns her head to look at Henry who is still slouched at the kitchen table, kicking his foot against one of the legs. Biting back her irritation, she closes the fridge and starts rummaging through the pantry for the pasta she bought earlier in the week and some canned marinara sauce.

"So I have to work tonight, but David and Mary Margaret will be here. Maybe you can watch a movie with them? Or I bet you can talk David into taking you out for some ice cream," Emma says as she pulls out a pot and fills it with water. "Or you can read the comic books your mom bought for you this week. Whatever you want."

Henry just shrugs, apparently intent on not looking up at her. Emma sets the filled pot on the stove and takes a seat at the table across from him.

"Okay, look, I know you're not happy about being here," she tells him, sighing as she pushes her hair out of her face. "But you are and we've got to make the best of this, okay? So can you just talk to me?"

He lifts his head and glares at her. "You hurt my mom. You promised to always be there and then you, you—" He looks away, shakes his head. "You ruined _everything_."

"I'm trying, Henry. I really am. If you could just—"

He stands up and grabs his backpack from beside his chair. "Whatever. Save it. I'm going to do my homework. I guess you can let me know when dinner's ready."

She lets him go without saying anything else. She sits at the table and traces her fingers over the wood, digging her thumbnail into a thin crack, picking at the wood until it splinters. Eventually, she remembers the water she had put on to boil and she gets up to finish cooking their supper.

* * *

It's not that the phone call is unexpected. It's not that at all. It's just that Emma doesn't want to do this, wants to do anything but this, but the papers are signed, it's official, and she is leaving. She is leaving and that changes everything all over again.

"I heard from your mother that you found an apartment in New York," Regina says, her voice crisp and sharp.

Emma covers her eyes with her hand. "Um, yeah. I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I just thought that it might be best after everything, at least for a little while."

"You didn't talk to me about it."

"I didn't know I had to run everything I do by you anymore," Emma says as she tightens her grip on her phone.

Regina goes quiet for a minute then says, "And what about our son? Were you planning on telling him? Or did you think you could skip out of town and leave that to me?"

"I wasn't—I wouldn't do that to you." Emma sighs. "I was going to tell him this weekend, but I'm guessing that my mom ruined all of that, didn't she?"

"No, I was the one to tell him. I didn't want him to hear it from someone else," Regina replies. She clears her throat and says, "When are you leaving?"

"In three weeks. I was going to put in my two weeks notice. I wasn't trying to keep this a huge secret from you. I just didn't know how to say it."

"Well now you don't have to."

Emma doesn't say anything; she holds the phone to her ear and waits and listens to the soft sound of Regina's breathing. She swallows and closes her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Regina. I am. I'll talk to the kid, if you want."

"What I want is for you to think before you do something," Regina says. "And yet that seems to be too much to ask."

Emma grits her teeth. "Goddamnit, Regina, I'm _trying_."

"It's not enough."

"Then what will be?"

"I don't know." Regina laughs and Emma just catches the sound of a sob in there. "I don't know. What about seeing Henry? Will that change?"

"It'll have to. I was thinking I could come get him every other weekend. Unless you think that's too much?" Emma says.

"We can try it. If it doesn't work, then we'll rearrange," Regina says with a sigh. "Your mother seems to think that you're leaving because of me. Is that true?'

"A little?" Emma stammers out. "It's because of everything, really. I just need to get out."

"Will you come back?"

"…maybe. Maybe one day, I will."

"Okay. Okay."

And she hangs up before Emma can say anything else.

* * *

She'd forgotten how much space there is in an apartment when it's just her. She's managed to fill it with furniture from IKEA, which maybe wasn't her best idea since the couch is the most uncomfortable thing ever, and there's a room for Henry that he sleeps in when he comes for his weekend visits, but when it's just her, it's overwhelming. She's gotten to where she keeps the television on, mostly turned to some random news station for the background noise.

She thinks about going back every day. Every day that she wakes up and reaches for someone who isn't beside her anymore, every day that she walks in and has to stop herself from calling out "I'm home" because no one is there to hear her. But she stays. Until weeks turn into months, until it's turned into a missed anniversary that doesn't mean anything anymore, until it's turned into a routine, a new normal.


End file.
